This post will qualify in my opinion.

was that last year's xmas card?

My mom loves the holidays.

Are you calling her a ten dollar hooker?

I have hairy man legs.

I just want to thank you for a good avatar.

I should have forseen this, but there you have it.
Glad to be of service.

drink carlsberg!

You know Carlsberg has the word PEE written on the bottle? True story.

that's what roger is laughing about in my signature.

That's kind of funny, because I was really excited to go to Pompeii partially because of the Pink Floyd movie, and when I was there I went to the cafe in Pompeii, and I had a Carlsberg, and that is when I noticed that it says PEE on the bottle.

Carlsberg is also one of the weaker european beers. It sort of tastes like pee.

i love that movie.
apple pie without the crust, roger taking the piss out of the director blowing smoke rings, "what do you mean interesting?", "what do you mean happy?" etc etc

Sonicl might like this

i have a really great secret
let the guessing begin

You're pregnant?

no! that would suck...really inconvenient timing et.c

I give up. There's nothing else I can think of.

well i don't know if i should say. it's really great and also terrifying and i am more ecstatically happy than i've ever been but i don't want to say anything about it but i almost can't help myself.

Your hubby treated you to a candlelight dinner and proposed your hand in marriage?