If you need Oprah to tell you how to have a healthy relationship, you've got some pretty big problems.

Here's Spectraljulian's relationship tips:

You don't have a soulmate. No matter who you date, there is most likely someone better who you could be going out with. Will you necessarily meet a person better than who you are with? Maybe. maybe not. Think of your odds. If he's a slobbering nincompoop then yeah. But maybe you're a horrible bitch and you deserve a slobbering nincompoop.

Don't have low expectations, but don't have high ones either. Have realistic expectations. If you treat your partners well, the higher you can realistically set your expectations. I see hot girls with average looking guys all the time. Because some of those average looking guys are a lot nicer than good looking pricks. It works the other way too.

If you want to get married you're gonna have to settle for less in some area.

I always get this nagging sensation that Oprah really hates white people....

oprahs a bitch see this dude is so pissed hes bout to attack her

she's the richest woman alive, giving a few cars as a publicity stunt to some audience members. big fucking whoop. bill gates donates millions of dollars a year to charity, what's the difference? do people really NEED to be billionaires? (I'm not so sure people need to be millionaires even)

Bill Gates should give everyone in the world a dollar.

somehow i don't foresee you making billions from this sort of foggy advice. a nickel here and there sure. you might even get a free beer.

She should be honored for her celebrity status in honorable charities. But I think Angelina does a better job.

I like her, she's a winner.

My advice is much more specific when people have specific problems, although the best advice to give someone is to "give yourself your own advice, and do what you'd tell someone in your situation to do."

My specific advice usually comes when me and the advice seeker are drinking. I yell "fuck 'em" really loud. Not literally advising the person to fuck said person, but more to let them "fuck off" if said person is causing them grief.

cmon julian, if you applied the same cursory "analysis" to your own advice that you applied to oprah's likely out of context quotations, you would not fare better than she did. you know it... confess...! :D

I confess, I confess!


:D

I prefer what Mae West had to say:

WARNING! Mae West could be a bit rude. Explicit content coming up.

1. When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better.
2. A hard man... is good to find
3. It's not the men in my life that counts -- it's the life in my men.
4. He who hesitates is last.
5. I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.
6. So many men... so little time
7. Too much of a good thing... can be wonderful
8. Why don't you come on up and see me sometime.. when I've got nothin' on but the radio.
9. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
10. A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.
11. A man in the house... is worth two in the street
12. Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
13. It's better to be looked over, than overlooked
14. Give a man a free hand... and he'll run it all over you
15. Good sex is like good Bridge... If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand
16. To err is human -- but it feels divine
17. His mother should have thrown him away...and kept the stork
18. I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.
19. "Goodness, what beautiful diamonds !" Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie
20. I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported
21. When a girl goes wrong, men go right... after her
22. I'm the lady who works at Paramount all day... and Fox all night.
23. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
24. I used to be Snow White... but I drifted
25. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day, and another, in case it doesn't rain
26. I've been rich and I've been poor... Believe me, rich is better
27. It's hard to be funny...when you have to be "clean"
28. I like my clothes to be tight enough to show I'm a woman... but loose enough to show I'm a lady.
29. She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success... wrong by wrong
30. You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction... but the second meeting shows up new angles
31. You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
32. Those who are easily shocked... should be shocked more often
33. When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
34. You ought to get out of those wet clothes... and into a dry martini

That's a bit too rude for SY Gossip.

MODS!!!

although they're wonderful quotes Im not sure how much worth they hold since oprah is unhappy and has a lot of intimacy issues.