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-   -   Good opening lines (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=21541)

!@#$%! 04.29.2008 02:40 PM
alternatively, you could pay glice to ghostwrite your column.

Everyneurotic 04.29.2008 02:41 PM
ask pookie.

Glice 04.29.2008 02:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
alternatively, you could pay glice to ghostwrite your column.

I will NEVER return to journalism in any form. No offence to anyone writing it, or wanting to but... there lies demons.

jon boy 04.29.2008 03:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glice
I will NEVER return to journalism in any form. No offence to anyone writing it, or wanting to but... there lies demons.

indeed.

!@#$%! 04.29.2008 03:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glice
I will NEVER return to journalism in any form. No offence to anyone writing it, or wanting to but... there lies demons.

oh come on. the world would be a worse place without that mark kermode cunt of yours.

Derek 04.29.2008 03:18 PM
The world would be a worst place if there wasn't pushy journalists telling us what we should like!

!@#$%! 04.29.2008 03:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek
The world would be a worst place if there wasn't pushy journalists telling us what we should like!

they have that power over you?

hot damn.

demonic indeed.

Glice 04.29.2008 03:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
oh come on. the world would be a worse place without that mark kermode cunt of yours.

The problem is that for every Steven Wells, Kermode the frog, Julie Burchill or, dare I say it, Richard Littlejohn, there's a million useless little pricks who are very good cases for extending the legal time limit on abortions from however many weeks it is currently to about 70 years.

Derek 04.29.2008 03:22 PM
Quote:
they have that power over you?

hot damn.

demonic indeed.
I instantly love everything Pitchfork put in their Best New Music section.

It's so... alternative.

!@#$%! 04.29.2008 03:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek
I instantly love everything Pitchfork put in their Best New Music section.

It's so... alternative.

just have a laugh& enjoy this overcaffeinated rant

Derek 04.29.2008 03:26 PM
Oh yeah, I remember that guy.

He hates everything.

!@#$%! 04.29.2008 03:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek
Oh yeah, I remember that guy.

He hates everything.

well-- no.

Derek 04.29.2008 03:33 PM
I don't recall him ever giving a movie a glowing review.

But then again, I don't really pay attention.

Everyneurotic 04.29.2008 03:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glice
I will NEVER return to journalism in any form. No offence to anyone writing it, or wanting to but... there lies demons.

journalists are minor trolls compared to true demonic forces, like marketing and advertising.

jon boy 04.29.2008 03:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glice
The problem is that for every Steven Wells, Kermode the frog, Julie Burchill or, dare I say it, Richard Littlejohn, there's a million useless little pricks who are very good cases for extending the legal time limit on abortions from however many weeks it is currently to about 70 years.

littlejohn and kermode are two prime examples of why this law must happen.

Derek 04.29.2008 03:38 PM
let the products sell themselves!
fuck advertising and commercial psychology
psychological methods to sell should be destroyed

!@#$%! 04.29.2008 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glice
The problem is that for every Steven Wells, Kermode the frog, Julie Burchill or, dare I say it, Richard Littlejohn, there's a million useless little pricks who are very good cases for extending the legal time limit on abortions from however many weeks it is currently to about 70 years.

ha!

i didn't expect you to write gmku's column like one of those euthanizable cases.

but now he's left to his own devices-- the poor fool!

mangajunky 04.29.2008 03:55 PM
I'm glad I finally opened this thread. It's far more interesting that what I thought it was going to be about. Y'know - pick up lines...

MellySingsDoom 04.29.2008 04:45 PM
"Is it just me, or do all grandmothers stink of piss?"

"America - a land of contrasts".

"I believe in the right to arm bears."

"Why do the Japanese get to buy soiled panties in vending machines, whilst I get a restraining order for trying to smell mine in public?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a very special announcement: Fisting is not mentioned in the Bible. Why?"

"America should be less like the Simpsons and more like the Mansons".

"Is Jesus is so good, how come he's dead?"

cryptowonderdruginvogue 04.29.2008 04:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gmku
So I was given this monthly gig writing a 500-word column for a local paper. No pay, which goes against all conventional wisdom in the freelance world, but I figure the regular exposure won't hurt business and I get to write on "anything my heart desires," according to the editor, God bless her.

I could take a day and whip up a dozen columns, bank them, pop them out one by one as the deadlines come around.

Here's the thing. I've never had a personal column. It's a little different from writing feature articles. I need a bunch of personal angles and snappy first lines.

I have one for sure, which I've dropped in conversation from time to time but never used in print. It's the "life lessons" angle, and the first line is: One thing I've learned in my travels through this crazy little thing called life is...

What are some others?

Do your own work, hippy!


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