Merk it blood, innit?

I use the word 'literally' a lot of the time in its proper sense - "I'm literally standing still"; it annoys me endlessly when people use it wrong. I've said this before, but a lass at work used the sentence "literally, they were tearing their hair out. Literally!"

Of course, they were tearing their hair out metaphorically. The sense in which she was using it was metaphorically, which I pointed out, and she wasn't impressed.

Also in work - the person who has, in their signature 'krgrds'. First of all, she shouldn't be using 'txtspk' in the office; second of all, there's a very faint argument that it's quicker to type 'krgrds' than 'kind regards' which is hopelessly undermined by the fact that it's in her fucking signature.

'Action/ed' annoys me. 'Solutionise' doubly so. "Can you action this?" makes much less sense than "Can/ could/ would you do this?", and is less of a circuitous way of asserting one's point/ request/ authority.

Also, people not using question marks. When I read an e-mail, if there isn't a question mark I assume it's a statement. If it seems like a question, but there's no question mark, then I assume it's a poorly constructed sentence. I do not assume that any request or question was imparted to me, because surely question marks are more intuitive than commas? They're certainly more obvious than hypens, parentheses, semi-colons or colons. No-one should not know how to use a question mark. Therefore, if anyone at work is reading this, do not get shitty at me when I haven't done something when your clauseless, dribbling, hollow-superlative, exclamation mark-ridden and smiley-blighted e-mail does not include a question mark.

I realise this is getting into the realm of 'I am grammarNazi, hear me roar'-type posting so I'll stop. For the record, I'm mostly forgiving of grammarslips/ typos - we all do enough of them. The chap in the office who is constantly bemoaning the 'drop in standards of people's English' annoys the hell out of me, and was brilliantly unimpressed when I pointed out his split-infinitive the other day. My point is that there is a certain level of courtesy attached to imparting information upon the populus, and when this is not met I see red.

Ahem. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, SYG.

every time i hear innit i want to kill.

"no offense" -- if you don't mean any offense but what you're saying could possibly be construed as offensive, DON'T FUCKING SAY IT DICKWEED

cock

faggot

pointy stick

sticky rice

mcgriddles

whats wrong with saying dick or johnson or wang or schlong?

i find the exacerbated use of foreignisms particularly annoying.

im with you on this one, mon cabrão semblable, mon cabrão frère.

A good day. Used heavily in specific redneck areas of the USA.

"have a good one man!"

it means have a good day

or if you are entering a cathouse, it means have a good lay

not specific-- it's general purpose-- just very casual

not so much on the internet.
during speeches, when they make pompous faces, like if they felt their status rising up to the sky because they used a foreign word.

"End of play" definitely. I thought it was just me who found that really annoying.

your right! may i never say any other bullshit ever again.

I like the second meaning more.

oh, that shit. i hate speeches in general.

"Not gonna lie"
Oh, great, I'm absolutely thrilled that you're being honest with me! So thrilled that I feel like you should say that before every statement, just so the thrill is infinite.

the ubiquitous use of cancer (in dutch) as a curse word in the vocabulary of some people, mostly teenagers: cancer-this, cancer-that, cancer-off, you fucking cancer-sufferer, get cancer, etc.

diseases are commonly used curse words in dutch language and i can take the occasional cancer or typhus or aids, but some people even use it as a positive adverb: wow, that was cancer-awesome!

I went through a phase of using "Absolutely!" continually for about 4 months. I got so pissed off about it, that I literally had to physically force myself to stop saying it. Everytime I hear that word now, I have an instant "ugh!" reaction to it.

Absolutely! I mean, like, totally.

"lol"
Fucking "lol"
Too much "lol" on the net... I can't stand these 3 letters now.