The thread is called "Who doesn't masturbate," not "Who masturbates," so frankly I have no idea why any of you are replying.

with my left-mutha-fucking-hand!


good point.

I let ms. Hand and her five adorable daughters meet the mighty Urinator of Love.

No I was asking how you have to do it not how you do it.
Seriously, I don't know how to do it my balls are practicelly exploding :(.

Enough silly humor.

touche cecil touche:p

One time I was hanging out with my two best friends watching Velvet Goldmine, and somehow the topic of masturbation came up. I just re-read that sentence and it was extremely funny to me. Anyways, one of those friends has quite the dirty mouth, and all of her innuendoes get really obnoxious after a while. I don't know how masturbation fits into all of this, but what it amounts to was that we were all kind of kidding around, and I probably made some reference to her getting herself off while watching the movie, and she said, "I don't masturbate." My other friend and I were just shocked, because she's what, 18 years old? So I said, "Are you kidding me? I've been doing it since I was nine." She thought that was really sick, and she seemed genuinely shocked to learn that she had female friends who masturbated (just as we didn't believe her at first when she said she didn't). But I knew that if she did, she wouldn't lie, because we were making her feel like a complete ass for not masturbating. The end.

I actually read something in one of those chick magazines...

98% of guys 15 and older do it while 33% (yes, a third) of girls 15 and older do it. Liars?

As far as the truth goes:

Tabloids > Cosmo

You have never felt up a girl have you?

whats yr point?

I saw a picture of me the other day. I was four years old, sleeping, with my hand down my pants.

How embarrassing. :[

Liar. We know not to take you seriously. Good one, though.

Dildos have CLAWS now!?

it looks like a little cow

They're holding up metal horns. Duh. They're into heavy metal cock. Er...rock.

Me thinks it's a german shepherd.

My point is that you don't know how wonderful vaginas are.


Vaginas are a beautiful thing. Masturbating one isn't messy or gross at all. Male masturbation is much messier. Fingering a woman is actually quite a religious experience. You figure out what they like and you have them panting and you kiss them on the lips when they are peaking and then their muscles clench around your fingers. Next time you make out with a girl slip your hand down her jeans. Girls love it.

...And make sure keep your goal in mind. If they don't let you go there, just tease them by not letting them touch you. Works like a charm :)

What girl doesn't want to be touched down there?