no, this was like an internship for me. of course they invited me back but I been losing mad duckets every day I sacrifice going all the way across town to the school I'm at, for only a few hours. I'm hoping for an upgrade next school year. I got this gig specifically for the letters of recommendation ( which were shining) and also the relevant and practical experience of working with high school kids in a legitimate setting. I didn't even know if I could survive in that place without going IRA on everyone but God(s) has brought me through it.

I also learned today that I can tolerate and yes, even like Led Zeppelin. Hot damn, they finally got even to me.

I learned that if you want to find RO*TEL in california, you have to go to wal*mart.

I'm so happy, my mouth is burning!

if you want to find anything in california you have to got to wal-mart now.

That Lloyd Grossman's pasta sauces are a con

i learnt a few days back that i will never smoke weed again for the rest of my life. been off it for a year but had some at the weeked. big mistake. day after felt good, but then the past 3 days felt crappy again. i was worried for a bit because i did feel kinda like, shit if i was to do this again and again i would completely loose it and go back to the dark old days haha.

some exercise and fish, plus veg and proper nuts should get me back on track.

but in a way im glad i did it because now i know that i will defintely never be touching it again for the rest of my life. whereas before i was craving it and came close to convincing myself it would be ok.

but i realise that 75% of it is just the negative frame of mind it has gotten me in, and that it will pass soon.

that black and white is always grey

hahaha

yeah i know.

but i really am done this time.

it felt so much better sober. i like to binge on sobriety, junkie that i am. i hog it for myself and i lost all my friends. i wake up every morning and im sober. i need sobriety to even get to sleep or get out of bed.

when im sober i hallucinate better, and have better imagination. when im out drinking with people i just become this ranting ego maniac who hates everyone and just enjoys using them as a receptacle for rants that keep me 100% fake and transport my ego to the realm of utter fiction. i lie so much, about inconsequential things, for the sake of it. just to stay fake, i love it. i always tell them, i don't want my reputation, you can have it. destroy it. when you have contempt for everyone and they are cool enough to know it and have the same contempt for you its all ok.

self-improvement is the greatest thing you can do

Today I learned that I cannot tolerate another day in my current job.

take your job and shove it!

you should be careful, that sounds suspiciously like denial. If you were truly satisfied with "sobriety" you wouldn't even feel the need to mention it so much, after all, people who NEVER drink or toke or anything rarely even think to mention it, because they are not in some kind of dichotomy.

I learned that no matter how tired you are, when the theme song comes on, you gotta keep pushing.

the best way to get things done is to eliminate all the bullshit and just DO it



i seriously didn't know that shit before though forrealzzz y'all

HERE, HERRE!

I've learned nothing.

^^ nice piñata!

R2D2 cat is not a piñata, he is a cat.

No!

Today I learned that my decision to take 2 days off running was fucking brilliant.

every Friday (except yesterday) I was up for at least 20 hours......I wouldn't last much longer after that though...