why?

i don't know.
babies smell good.

yeah, i've danced in the rain, because dancing in the dry is for BITCHES

i can't remember the last time i held a baby, probably when my sister was born. i don't have any pictures of me holding one recently, my sister has a picture of me holding a cat like a baby though i think.

FYI, i have no intention of having children

me either. they are adorable until they start going to school and then they turn into little shits.

float 'em down the river, chinese style.

Danced in the rain
Comforted a crying baby
Helped an injured bird
Put yourself out in order to help a stranger
Made a daisy chain
Made somebody a birthday cake

would that not imply that my children are moses?

what's a mose?

you know. didn't do anything important. just parted waters and was rejected by god and shit.

yeah i know, i'm just too tired to think of anything funny to say.

i'm too busy being a nihilist to think of anything that would be amusing in the least.

you sound like a girl i dated last summer

that's consoling.

see, i'm not all bad

All of the above.

from the animals i've held in my hands i can't remember a hedgehog being among them and the only cake i ever made someone was a space cake.

i also cheated a bit on the bird because it wasn't really injured but just in distress... it had flown through the open window into the house. i recently killed a bird by accident because it came under the wheel of my bicycle. :(

Recently a baby bird somehow got itself stuck between the two panes of our sash window. I had to slowly close the window to release it, but it meant that I had to shut the bird in the house to do so. From there, all sorts of Norman Wisdom-style hilarity ensued as I attempted to get it out of the house. At one point I was siiting in the middle of the room trying to tweet like a bird. It worked, the bird flew towards me & landed on my hand. just call me the Bird Whisperer.

haha... clever.
i first tried making it fly out of the window, but that didn't seem to work. then i just chased it for about 10 minutes until i managed to capture it into a towel and carry it outside.

have you ever...... buttsecks?