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-   -   Old Testament "God" is a punk bitch (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=98199)

Rob Instigator 09.12.2013 10:49 AM

2 Samuel 12:11 - Thus saith Jehovah, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house; and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

Punk bitch. gonna make your neighbor rape your WIVES (plural)

Zecharia 14:1-2 - A day of the LORD is coming, Jerusalem, when your possessions will be plundered and divided up within your very walls.
I will gather all the nations to Jerusalem to fight against it; the city will be captured, the houses ransacked, and the women raped. Half of the city will go into exile, but the rest of the people will not be taken from the city.



punk bitch. It's gonna rape the women of its own followers. Petty punk-ass bitch. It will also steal all your shit.

tesla69 09.12.2013 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by !@#$%!
ha ha ha. this is like discussing unicorn biology.


I think that is a major at Evergreen College.

Rob Instigator 09.12.2013 01:10 PM

millions of chinese people still use ground up fossils and mummies as medicinal cures. believe me when I say someone, somewhere is studying Unicorn biology.

SuchFriendsAreDangerous 09.12.2013 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator
2 Samuel 12:11 - Thus saith Jehovah, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house; and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

Punk bitch. gonna make your neighbor rape your WIVES (plural)

Zecharia 14:1-2 - A day of the LORD is coming, Jerusalem, when your possessions will be plundered and divided up within your very walls.
I will gather all the nations to Jerusalem to fight against it; the city will be captured, the houses ransacked, and the women raped. Half of the city will go into exile, but the rest of the people will not be taken from the city.



punk bitch. It's gonna rape the women of its own followers. Petty punk-ass bitch. It will also steal all your shit.


 

tesla69 09.12.2013 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator
2 Samuel 12:11 - Thus saith Jehovah, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house; and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

Punk bitch. gonna make your neighbor rape your WIVES (plural)

yeah but she was a fucking Hittite, don't deny you wouldn't do the same thing if someone you knew showed up with a Hittite wife

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator
Zecharia 14:1-2 - A day of the LORD is coming, Jerusalem, when your possessions will be plundered and divided up within your very walls.
I will gather all the nations to Jerusalem to fight against it; the city will be captured, the houses ransacked, and the women raped. Half of the city will go into exile, but the rest of the people will not be taken from the city.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

punk bitch. It's gonna rape the women of its own followers. Petty punk-ass bitch. It will also steal all your shit.


Its unclear what this is about, at least according to the useful Biblehub.com. we read parts of the Bible in high school - as literature in a world literature class - I recall our discussion that Jehovah is a very angry and vengeful God. You don't mess with Him. I think its the same problem the GReeks had, the old Gods were the Titans, and then Zeus killed his Father or some shit; but there were old Gods and then new Gods. I personally believe they were space travellers.

Rob Instigator 09.12.2013 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuchFriendsAreDangerous
 


HAHHHAHA! Hilarious!

EVOLghost 09.13.2013 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foreverasskiss
why pick on the Ol' Testament? why not the Quran? HUH????

Muhammad: "oh, i'm sorry. those tiny dick jews got it all wrong. here's wha that fuck Jehovah told me that was the truth": we're a bunch of nasty fuckhead desert rats who believe in smelling like ass and killing our own children". " take that Zeus, you bearded thunderbolt holding fuck".




yo. forreal?

Rob Instigator 09.13.2013 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foreverasskiss
why pick on the Ol' Testament? why not the Quran? HUH????

Muhammad: "oh, i'm sorry. those tiny dick jews got it all wrong. here's wha that fuck Jehovah told me that was the truth": we're a bunch of nasty fuckhead desert rats who believe in smelling like ass and killing our own children". " take that Zeus, you bearded thunderbolt holding fuck".

"and btw, Jehovah is not even his real name". " we'll call him Allah, aka bastard". just for kicks.

how about that?

let those crazy desert fucks rot and their children and blame the Jews like always.:(

peace.


The Old Testament is a proxy for every single religious tome in existence.
They are all full of shit with tiny nuggets of wisdom that you have to sift through like looking for heroin balloons in feces. and those tiny nuggets of wisdom are seldom, if ever, the parts that believers choose to espouse.

SuchFriendsAreDangerous 09.13.2013 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator
The Old Testament is a proxy for every single religious tome in existence.
They are all full of shit with tiny nuggets of wisdom that you have to sift through like looking for heroin balloons in feces. and those tiny nuggets of wisdom are seldom, if ever, the parts that believers choose to espouse.


Perhaps nobody ever explained what the Old Testament is about to you. That is why the Catholic Church fought for over a thousand years to NOT translate the Bible into vernaculars, because simply put, the Scriptures are an esoteric, mystical, and confusing anthology of thousands of years of poetry, collected wisdom, and parables. Its also an epic song book.

What is the moral of the Old Testament? That life is difficult, its not supposed to be easy, it wasn't created this way. Human beings have free-will, and we use this extensively to make bad decisions and mistakes which negatively effect the entire world. THIS IS NEWTON'S FIRST LAW, THAT EVERY ACTION HAS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION. In life, there are no take-backs, no do-overs. If you make a decision, good or bad, you HAVE TO EMBRACE THE NATURALLY OCCURRING CONSEQUENCES. This is existentialism 101. These collected stories we call "The Bible" are really just fables to reiterate and explain this process, they document the consequences of people in history's decisions, to inspire us to be careful and accountable with ALL of our own decisions. As my Father-Confessor always reminds me, "EVERY SINGLE MOMENT IN THIS LIFE COUNTS."

We learn from the example of the "heroes" as well as common people of the Old Testament that same wisdom that we are supposed to gather from the example of our grandparents, that life can kick you in the balls, but you have to keep readjusting and doing your best. In the Bible, we read of thousands of people, and get a glimpse of their daily struggles. What is the moral? They survived, thriving even, more or less. When the Gospel of Matthew opens up the New Testament as a geneology of Jesus Christ, we are supposed to understand that we are being reminded that it took all those generations of people working together in continuity, building our present shaped from the past, into the future. Abraham was the father of Isaac, who was the father of Jacob.... etc etc

We are SUPPOSED to learn from this that Abraham busted his ass for over a hundred years so that his son Isaac could live. Isaac busted his ass for over a hundred years so that Jacob could live.. All this culminates with Our Lady the Virgin Mary, who is their genealogical daughter. The moral? Life is hard, but if you apply yourself, you can survive and in fact be multiplied. We are all the product of our mathematical ancestors, their labors are the only reason we are blessed to exist. The Old Testament documents their struggles, their labors, and their accomplishments. God is involved to inspire and motivate. The "fearful God" is meant to remind us that if God created the world, the world and our lives exist on God's terms. We have to readjust our own intentions and desires around reality. Maybe nobody ever explained this to you, but in the Scriptures while God is a living entity, he is also a personification of the limits of reality. God symbolizes the fact the ALL humans have to yield, submit, and accept certain realities which are completely outside of our power. Pride fools humans into believing we can be independent, we can succeed on our own, we can force our will onto the Universe. That is simply not true, we exist and live on life's terms, and the religious person believes God underlies these realities. EVEN IF YOU ARE A BITTER ATHEIST, THIS MORAL REMAINS THE SAME. There are aspects of life out of your control, we call them God, you can call them whatever you'd like, but regardless you have to deal with reality, period.

Rob Instigator 09.25.2013 08:56 AM

Maybe this is the dolphin Messiah?

 


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