"Which one of you guys called me a comedian?" Vince Vaughan asked in his best Salford accent.

Steve ran, shouting "Great idea about the Jolie t-shirts!" and leaving the promissory note dangling from Thurston's awkwardly outstretched hand; his face frozen in a mask of fear, as Vince Vaughn stalked menancingly towards him.

''Jesus Christ, Vince Vaughn, you never quit and apparently your jokes never start, don't come at me with that 'you banged Jennifer, while rolling a jay' shit anymore, I told you I'm only drink heavily'' said a angry angry Steve Buscemi in his note.

This was just the moment that Steve Shelley had been waiting for.

Suddenly, Scarlet Johansson appeared out of nowhere, "Have you guys seen Jessica Alba anywhere? That bitch needs a good ho-slap."

Steve Shelley had a lightning rethink, and decided that maybe this wasn't the moment he had been waiting for after all.

He crept back into the bushes, where he hid his stash of AK-47 ammunition and hydrogen grenades, grinning quietly to himself at his quick thinking wilyness.

Thurston, realizing this was an extremely boring day so far, had made it his aim to get some baked items and cut out to his abode,'Fuck these celebs, i hate Scarlett Johansen and Vince Vaughn made me laugh a little, but the guy has a small package for such a big man, and oh well,let's go kick around some jams' he said to Steve Shelley, who wanted to stay and watch Scarlett perform oral functions on a neighboring homeless man.

Keira Knightley sashayed along the sidewalk, wearing no bra, her tiny breasts outlined beautifully by her tight white t-shirt, and asked, "Does anyone here know sonicl, I've heard he wants to get into my pants"



[EDIT - Well, you never know, she might read this...]

The homeless man perked up at this.

He sensed that maybe this could be his opportunity to get some new underwear, to replace Julie Andrews' knickers that he had been wearing for the last three weeks.

Julie Andrews refused to comment on this, her publicist insisting that "...she had nor prior foreknowledge of this..."

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Kim appeared, waving a badly burned piece of bread and crying.

Vince Vaughn, who had always harboured a secret longing for Kim, adjusted his speedos gallantly.

"Hey, Baby Doll," he purred, "What's troublin' your pretty face?".

"Nothing", she said.

"Oh", he said, and went off in search of someone else to hit on.

Kim took a bite of the burned toast while whipping the tears from her eyes.

'Ugh', she muttered, 'unsalted butter!'.

She grabbed the jar of peanut butter from the kitchen cupboard and took of the lid.