where'd rob go?

He had to go pick up the latest issue of "Gigantic Ass Monthly."

I think he stepped out for a JO
it shouldn't take too long
for the one handed spank pro
my prediction is that he'll brb
with a lame booty rap
for m1rr0r and me

have not rapped about booty
even though it's fun
in about three weeks
get yr facts straight son.

all yr raps are about booty
it's what you live for
Yr not foolin' me
m1rr0r, show him the door.

i said it before
i'll say it some more
even passed out on the floor
rap style points i will score

I read all of these.


Nice JO reference there, floating.

god I like girls with big asses

i like girls with glasses
they take the classes
but rob over here?
i doubt he passes

see how I raise much havoc
against the monosyllabic?
it would be kind of tragic
to them spelling's like magic
so while they recover in panic
i'll sip framboise lambic

YOU GUYS ARE FUCKIN' DICK!

woo hooo! a TWO syllable word there!

the pain that yr feelin
yr not believin
that it's all comin
from a single drummin
sylla-able
yeah i'm willin
an hella able
to be chillin
jus one

you need all of these
convoluted..... please
go sip yr framboise breeze
ima go smoke some trees

fuckin' dick?
sorry, chief, not me.
but you might ask rob
he'll do it for free!

Okay I guess I'm into haiku now,
Rather fuckin' dick,
Than fryin' bollocks.

"you're all fucking dick"
is what yr momma said
before I got her ass up
leaving stains on yr bed

ps

glasses = 2 syllables

come on, this makes you look desperate
very much like a hip hop ex-patriate
sitting there, starting to perspirate
col'rippin' on yr rhymes, you took the bait
now go call your momma, for you she waits
fucked her so hard, she got a gimp gait
had to prop her up cuz she can't sit straight
due to killer orgasms that I propagate.

wait wait wait

i can't think straight

ring ring ring
mommy mommy
rob made my head sting
these rhymes he bring
got my arm in a sling

bring bring bring
rob's alarm clock ring
he rub his eyes
realize he ain't the king
m1rr0r is the real thing

y'all keep yr lame ass swing
i gotta go eat a chicken wing

m1rr0r rang yr alarm
now, the sound is dyin'
wooooah! hey!

two 'pon three fi a champion name
me gwan run it til di' end
yr batty raps are a shame

to yr ma and maybe yr pa
if you know the man I mean
then it was ME that you saw.

hey!

because, instigator rhymes should be petty crimes
they're going to lock you in cell for it
when I give up the dimes.

this thread.. is living proof
of better living through 'lectronics
daaamn, I jus' went through the roof!!

((*poof!*))


Rob, in case it's not obvious, m1rr0r d4sh3r has been signed to Moon Bass Rekerds (a wholly owned FloSloCo subsidiary).

I'm GIVING you SirFOCHS and Unhuman.

fuck the wing
ate the whole thing

now i'm back
i see that hack
gave up the wack
attack
srsly, black....
if i can even call you that

guess that shrimp
done went limp

my reputation climbs
you'll pay for yr crimes
i mean all those "rhymes"
read the new york times
....... saw the headlines:

Spitzer's a Pimp
Instigator's the Gimp

Okay here's some quick tricks before I go to school,
While you all will be drowning into the swimming pool,
Y'all are fuckin' dick, bitchin' chick, frickin' prick,
Now look at me yeh I'm the lyrical freak,
m1rr0r d4sh you FloSloCo ass-lickin' slave,
I'm gonna soon send you right down to ya grave,
Yeah nigga this ain't no rave,
This is hip-hop by the ghetto fave.

early mornin' rising
i find yr rhymes reprising
dollar store rhyme scheming
you should have stayed dreaming

on the pillow place yr head
for just like Flava Flav said
"live lyrics from the bank of reality"
y'all just gate crashers on hip hop society

for you wander round while I have a destination
I'm the king of all sound, without repudiation
smoke a whole pound, no need to give explanation
yr mom's gulped it down, said you need a demonstration

I'm the heir apparent, yr a bastard son
check yr thighs in the mirror, and I'm done!

[in about four seconds] AN ARCHITECT [will begin to speak]

i got the mad money finance
i use my thumb to film advance
my consciousness i enhance
my rhymes leave you in a trance
selectin the rhyme blueprints
to rid this battle of nuisance
i'm sucka reducin
with the rap fusion
write this rhyme one handed
as i drink a tea infusion
stackin reinforced concrete flow
crush yr head with a hammer blow

so like bizmark said
[respect the architect]
so like guru said
[respect the architect]

don't try to front
don't try no stunt
stay out the hip hop
construction guild
even with the hard hat
you gonna get killed
while i begin to build
yr rap labor is unskilled
from floor to ceiling
i leave you reeling
with power to construct
redirect the air duct
leavin you rear end sweatin
while i do the trend settin

so like bizmark said
[respect the architect]
so like guru said
[respect the architect]

knahmsayin? one love.

so we have now proved that I am the rhyme master
and that I am Mad Max to your Master/Blaster
it flows both ways cuz I gots mad synergy
all you can say is "not shit, ENERGY!"


(thunderdome references are all the rage these days)

okay. look man. you gotta stop this delusion.
i can see now that you got a lot of confusion.
yr living yr whole life in an optical illusion.
i know this leaves yr ego with a contusion.
but you better stop now, before you need
a two pon' three fi' liter blood transfusion.

yr rhymes numb the mind like novocaine
my rain strikes the brain like a freight train
convulsions and seizures, the shit's off the chain
it's too bad that yr rhymes are vanilla plain
Rocky Road is the load from my frigidaire
chocolate, nuts and 'mallos as you are aware
sonic youth is the truth, I'm quite debonair
you pretend it's Baby Ruth squeezed out yr derrierre

internal rhyme scheming, Shakespeare must be dreaming
Those 5 heavy 'gasms had yr momma beaming
she told me to tell you your rhymes are demeaning
down the slippery slope your rap skilz are careening

put one hand in the air like this, wave it
back and forth, say doo doo!
(DOO DOO!)
Say doo doo!
(DOO DOO!)

Come on! Ah yeah!

Dante is a scrub
(a supa scrub)

Haiku #2:

Hey mirror dash dude,
That's not hip hop,
That's gabba

syrfox needs to get some control
mirror's funky skits are straight De la Soul
You rhyme like you use a wack dictionary
I'm kicking base-10, you're still learning binary
leave the rhymes to the grown-ups, cuz it will take a toll
and you know you're not ready to lose bowel control
shit yr pants, soil yrself, all in a day's work
leaving battlers soiled is one of my perks
so scrape the hot shit from betwixt yr asscheeks
listen to yr farts cuz they topple yr rhyme speak

This is one long running battle
with wanna-be's trying to enter the fray
like sheep to the slaughter or like dumb cattle
their defeat is imminent, no need to pray
their confidence I shatter, their nerves I rattle
they better stick with replying to threads by swa(y)
while I get their moms to ride me side-saddle
and make me some dinner at the end of the day

you should leave swa(y) outta this
he didn't do anything to you
check yr own damn pockets while yr at it
because yr doo doo smells like a zoo

de la soul would be lucky to have m1rr0r
I say that cuz it's true
but you and SIRfocks have rhymes so thin
we can almost see right through...

... to the other side
day destroys the night
night divides the day
ya tried to run
ya tried to hide
but we see right through
to other side

we chased our pleasure here
we dug our treasure there
i stay on park ave...
you sleep in times square

i am the rhyme machine
i made the scene
week to week
day to day
hour to hour
my style is straight
deep and wide

but y'all have rhymes so thin
we can see right through
to the other side
we can see right through
to the other side

dense locution
aggrandized verbatim
generates confusion
among the fools who hate 'em
incomprehensible fruition
has you shrinking yr scrotum
a dictionary's yr solution
to your oversimplified pablum

I would have substituted "hokum" for "pablum," but I thought this last one was pretty good overall.

8.7

I need to hire savage clone terminator
to be my full-time rap battle editor
ain't got much money so don't call the creditor
for more wicked rhymes keep eyes glued to the monitor