not in every situation
you see, if someone were to fuck with a member of my family or a close friend -- dead.

If that's not a perfect intro to an evil metal song, I don't know what is.

Example #1 - the woman beater that Cantankers totally destroyed.

Don't mess with the Upper West Side massive, nuf said :cool:

i'm pretty much the only person in the entire neighbourhood capable of beating ass in any capacity.

rich whiteys ftw.

Sick job :D

Give it to meee, I want it.

You must acquire some more nunchukas, samurai swords and ninja stars before starring Cantankers in her own version of "Kill Bill" again.

I am a waiter. I make about $100 during a night shift, and $50 during a lunch shift. Doubles are nice.

i used to be a waitress.

I've been working in tiny independant art shop for three years now. I'm leaving in two weeks due to moving to London for university. Essentially, my job has been absolutely perfect, I get a discount and as an art student thats very useful. The knowledge I required to work there is pretty large, but I know that now, and to be quite honest the job's easy as sin, I don't have to do anything much at all. I do, for example, doze off in my chair for a couple of hours after lunch. So essentially, I realise working in a bustling hectic shop, cafe or whatever in London is going to be a short sharp shock. I also realise, though I've been there for three years, it has been my only job, and the only experience I have, and this won't exactly aid me in finding a new job.

i am responsible for making sure people's pets don't die when they go under anesthesia for surgery.

i sell large and expensive tvs to people who don't need them.

Hahaha.

That's my favorite quote in a while.

A lot of you have some really cool jobs . Some that might not be the kind of thing you grow up thinking : "YEAH ! Im totally going to do that !!" but that you have walked into and owned for yourselves . You sound satisfied and proud of yourselves , for now or to whenever it may be , it doesnt matter . And thats fucking awesome .

It's nice, when I help sell at Flea Markets, sometimes I find cool stuff to buy and then sell myself. Need more of that.

you ever been to the hell's kitchen flea market in new york?

I help to run a shop and community centre.

the fact that statement is in past tense shows that you are smarter than I am.

actually... scratch that.

What am I doing for money? Well, currently I'm doing fundraising for the "!@#$%! for Governator" campaign in 2015. How much have I raised so far? About £3.50, a pack of chewing gun, and a well-thumbed copy of "Breakdancing for dummies". Early days yet, but I've a feeling that the coffers will soon start being inundated with money, oh yes.

£3.50 is like a million dollars, what do you need more money for?

Fundraising, of course.

(Read - cigarettes :D)

oh. yeah, i could use some of that fund's money as well.

hurray man. i thank my loyal supporters.

im governating what now?

^^^New York City :D :D :D :D

i thought you were raising money to call !@#$%! "guv'nor" in a friendly way.

don't say that
if he was the mayor or something i could not resist the urge to bomb his offices and then kill everyone.

You don't have to kill everyone, mate....mind you, he might set the cops on you, so a fuck-off bomb it'll have to be.

but killing everyone would be so much fun!
i could go across the street and snipe people from the trees....

me too.

like to buy me a beer or something.

i'll buy you a case of beer if you stop being an ass.


actually no.

i like to argue.

bitch no beer can rob me of the pleasure of smacking you down verbally!

you're on mofo.

It'd be so much like Patty Hearst pulling a Stockholm Syndrome ("life in NYC got too much for me, honest") - imagine John Waters making a film about your life! He'd call it "Casper .45", and it'd win every award going. You'd get on all the chat-shows and shit, get to record your album with Patti Smith...the opportunites would be endless.

ha!


ha ha ha ha ha hahaaaaaaa

you've convinced me

i need to get a better gun though
handguns are not very good for sniping motherfuckers on a sunny afternoon in the park

SNIPING?

i thought you were the more bold sawed-off shotgun blast-them-to-pieces type

i'm disappointed

well. yr right.

but i feel like being all sneaky.

in that case, start a coffee house, and serve everyone cyanide!

"Lazy Sunday Afternoon
I got no time to worry
Snipin' bozos in NYC!!

Doo-dee-doo-doo-doo, da-doo-dee-doo-da-doo-doo
*BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!*"

Look what happened the last time Cantankers opened up a soft drinks stand in a tropical paradise:



Cor, I'm really in the mood for a Kool-Aid now.