5...hope it will stay this way for a while now

about a 9.

I was at the White Sox game and on the "wave cam" two chicks were about to make out but then the camera man moved the camera. it was pretty awesome.

i just saw this:



sucks.

that turned my happy scale to about five.

no offense, but that's about all the excitement you can expect from a baseball game :) :)

very true. but the tickets were free and ultimately I am glad I went. Just for those 2 and a half seconds of chicks making out.

about an 8, i've just recovered from being ill and now i have 9 days off work!

0. Life is getting worse for me, despite my efforts to reverse the momentum.

In two weeks I'll be in California and for a few days I'll be alive and happy.

I'm basically living off family charity and book sales right now. Which is all nice and fine till I run out of books to sell, which is soon. And I resent
hand outs...I'm going to stop accepting it after this month, although my
mom doesn't know that yet.

9.3

3. I'm messing too many things up and I'll probably have to sold some stuff to finance more important stuff.

will be happier in a half hour (work over) and then will remain happy until monday am.

Damn Jenn, I hope your luck turns the right way.

10!! no shit.

jenn: it will pass, and i wish you the best of luck. i know you're smart, you did write a book after all, you'll think of something! lots of people are having a rough time right now. you just gotta take the bad with the good.

That's the spirit, Satan.

good luck to you jenn! and good that you're happy, satan. how is the devil's spawn growing?

i'm currently around 7-8. my boyfriend is still gone for another twelve days, but i do have an axhibition open in about an hour (together with a lot of other artists) so that kind of makes up for it.

Yesterday morning I was a 6, and by the afternoon I was probably an 8, and come the evening I was hovering between 7 and 8. It's a crazy world.

devil spawn's doing well. i am just so damn jolly for no reason. i feel like busting a move.

about 8.974 recurring

i don't really know. i'm okay i guess, not bad but have been better.

Maybe a 2... I'm beginning to hate myself.
I feel like I'm too different in too many ways from the average people that surround me... I can't relate to them and they can't relate to me. I can't be myself... I don't even know how and I dont feel like its what anyone wants me to do...
I don't hate other people... I just don't relate to them. I don't really know what I want out of life anymore.. I just feel like I'm doing things just so that there is a chance things could get better eventually..
I don't want to kill myself.. but I don't enjoy living. I have no real passion for anything that matters anymore, I feel neither highs nor lows, just complete blah.
I just want people (who aren't my family) to actually care about me.. and want to be with me.. I want to learn to love myself again.

I don't know why I'm posting this here.. I have to get it out somewhere.

Be yourself anyways, and take pride in the fact that you aren't like them. Of course, this will lead to you feeling alienated at times...but there will be those that will also be intrigued + want to get to know ya better. Plenty will be inspired.

As far as not knowing how to be yrself, embrace that idea within itself as if you are being yrself by admitting to that very thing. It's OK to be confused about our places as artists or eccentrics in this world. I'm personally always weirded out a bit by those that seem to, or act as if, they have everything figured out.

Not knowing what one wants out of life is OK. What we want often changes anyways. I don't want the same things I wanted a year ago, and damned sure don't want the same things I wanted ten years ago. The 17 year old version of myself would want to kick my ass, this I know. That kid would egg my house and slash my tires.

People make life difficult...shit is, and should be super easy however. Esp. if we embrace it for the chaotic thing it is.

And I could be wrong (I clearly deal with, and have dealt with my own shit)...but whenever I get in these weird ruts I tend to kinda block most others out...spend time with myself, read books I want to read, watch films I enjoy, listen to the music I love on repeat....just remind myself who I am and why I love the things I do.

Good luck.

2/10

Which means im colossally unhappy, but i know it

7/10

will be 8.5/10 as soon as I get off work.

I really loved this response... it really makes sense to me and I appreciate it.
Thanks Ann

You are very welcome!

:)

Its reduced to this rate
1/10 but im a pain in the arse so its to be expected

right now i am not happy due to fennesz being totally sold out. 0.

5/10

i finally feel like i've found some path i'd like to take in life. but it's going to take awhile for me to finally walk it. i hate meeting nice people and discovering i have nothing in common with them. and i constantly think "hey maybe they'll open up and we can relate to things together" but i'm always 100% disappointed. it's no one's fault. i've got places i need to be. but it sucks not having anyone to share it with.

three.

GOSH DURNITT! All you peeps feelin' so down. I said I'd be an 8.5 when I got home..welps, I am home now + I'd say that 8.5 was correct. Got some NY Dolls spinnin' on the turntable (live in Paris, 1974). Sounds fantastic. Kitties fed. Place is clean for a change + baby girl is home asleep and safe. Got some books layin' on my bed waitin' for me to read them whenever I decide to lay down (I always sleep best when I pass out reading a book w/ some tunes playing quietly in the background). Life's good....don't let it kick yr ass because it will if ya allow it.

I'm glad to hear you're doing great. I'm just not feeling well for personal reasons. =[

4/10. Drugs depleted mah serotonin levels.

PM me if ya need to chat, dude.

I woke up feeling just overall good today. Here's to keeping it up throughout the day and making good things happen for myself

10+

GD's happiness goes to 11.

Trust and believe the right person for you is out there. I didn't have a serious relationship till I was 27 and got married at 30. I too was always in the dump about the lack of a partner. Finally though the right woman showed up. Not only beautiful outside but inside as well. Three beautiful children, the house the cars and the career all fell into place as well. You know where you're going so you're already one up on the right path, the rest will fall into place. Just don't settle for someone just to end the loneliness wait for the right one the one that completes you, understands you and shares your vision.

6/10
Skipped my last class and drove around to pawn shops/thrift stores looking for a stereo receiver. Finally found one for $40. Came back, hooked it up, and am now listening to the 2nd Vivian Girls album. I have to go to work at 4:30. D :

As for me I'm a solid 9. My fantasy teams are rolling, 1st place in American Football fantasy and my Premier league fantasy team has jumped into the top 10 at 10 th place just 2 points out of 9 th and 30 from number 1. The simple things in life bring joy.

encouraging words indeed. thanks, man

Still a 0. I've never been happy, in 24 years. Life is torture. I have everything I'd ever want, have been "successful" enough in everything I've really put my heart into -- I feel like I do have a lot to show for my existence, and that's saying something since I grew up with nothing -- my mom has done nothing but stole from me, she even forged a credit card in my name a few years ago in order to buy pain pills from Canada! My family are idiots... anyway, the few things that make me happy, like filming flowers and drawing pictures and playing guitar, don't even bring me the happiness they used to bring. I feel like, the older I get, the less I enjoy myself and the things I do -- and I never had a very good self-image to begin with. A lot of people would love to have what I have -- a girlfriend, some cash, and an interesting band (SS) that I have complete freedom in. Even having released some of the best albums I've ever done and having done a movie I think is really good (and, trust me, I'm extremely hard on myself -- I never listen to anything I've made or watch anything I've shot or anything), I still can't muster more than a simple and quiet, "Yay." when reflecting on my "success". I love drugs, they excite me temporarily, but then they depress me. Old friends are too busy bitching about debt, or are too busy fucking each other (either fucking each other OVER or, literally, fucking). I feel like so many people have tried to use me... that's probably all I'm good for, really. I'm a good boyfriend and a good friend and a good worker. But I feel increasingly lazy. I guess I like making other people happy. I like to give others things, I like to come up with things that make others smile. I think I should be a clown.