female housemate?
i am crushed. truly.
CRUSHED.

believe me, there's nothing going on between me and her.

oh, is she really homely? i'm sorry.

no, she's not homely at all. there's just been beaucoup drama.

oh, you beat her! wonderful.

Beating women is so in.

look what he did to me! LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!!!

But dear, you were loving it!

that's not really my leg. i found it on google.

What T&B fails to mention is that the drama resulted in his jealous housemate discovering Cantankerous's photos plastered on the ceiling over his bed.

As a seasoned stalker, I know for certain that once you get careless, the whole production falls apart. When he called to ask me if I'd lure her to London, I TOLD him he had be more careful, but you know those models. Cocky bastards.

i can roll my tongue. a useful skill.

It has come in useful many times.

I can't roll mine. :[

what's it useful for?

all sorts of things. cleaning the house, dialing the phone...

you could also eat soup with it

Sucking cock like a Hoover.

i don't quite understand, you'll have to demonstrate

what? sorry, too busy blowing spit bubbles.

In the interests of propriety, I will not post the photo I so desperately want to.

please please please!