Related: One time I was tripping and I thought the carpet I was sleeping on was trying to eat me.

tripping > everything

one time i stood up too quickly from a kneeling position, and i remained dizzy for a full minute

Agreed

One time when I was a teenager I was totally desperate to have some imagery to masturbate to and so I used the TV Guide. Allysa Milano was the cover.

one time I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

That is one of the greatest things I 've ever heard.

One time I used an ad in a New Yorker magazine and my dad walked in on me. Literature, eh? I think is what he said.

Your intro is good here and you've got some rising action, but you're not taking it anywhere. An ellaboration on 'scare' would take the action over the peak and then your denouement could deal with the repercussions / consequences.

one time i wrote a terrible story and deleted it

Agree to no end.

One time, I was tripping balls on acid and Panda Bear's entire album sounded insane. I was having the most intense visuals of my life. Life was beginning and ending. It was fantastic. As soon as the music would stop, so would most of the OEVs.

one time i [TMI] and then she just looked at me with this blank stare, so i [TMI]. at this point, she started getting really pissed and [TMI]. i turned around and tried to leave, but she [TMI]. That was when i [TMI].

...a couple of week's later i got [TMI]. eventually she [TMI] and i had to [TMI]. god that sucked....

I like the more open-ended plot for its defiance of expectations. All we know is that they kept getting scared; there are, in effect, no repercussions or consequences, simply a relentless state of existential fright. It works for me.

one time when i was tripping by myself one beautiful saturday afternoon, my sister-in-law came over. i wasn't really tripping balls, but i was tripping hard enough to think that this was an alternate reality that i had mind-control powers over... so i pulled out my TMI and started to TMI. she just started laughing and stood there watching me. she was the one i had gotten the acid from and knew i was tripping alone that afternoon.... so she might have just come over to check up on me, or maybe to fuck with me. either way... fucking hawtest thing ever. she never let me live that down...

One time I went to school in just my underwear. Then I woke up.

One time I was taking a cab van to SFO with a couple of strangers and when the cab driver asked us what airline we were so he could drop us off, I looked at my e-ticket print out thing and responded with "Orbitz." I quickly corrected myself but it was ridiculously embarrassing.

You should have passed it off as a joke. Look around. "Orbitz. Get it?"

one time i put bacon on an injury.

one time i had to put the hurt on some bacon.

haha.