I honestly don't know what that term means.

I'm not sure I care. But explain anyway.

Gay Gmku, Gay.

Oh.

Hmmm.

Except for my horniness for people with a vagina and breasts, I guess I could be gay. I like the things gay people like. Shoes, clothes, food.

Can I be gay without sucking dick or you know the other thing?

The farthest you can go is metrosexual, but we already know you are one.

You know what's nice? You get down to the end of a glass of your last beer. The last beer in the house. It's a really good beer, too. You think you've just drunk the last swallow and there's no more--then you look at the bottle and there's another 1/4 of the bottle of beer waiting to be poured. Heaven!

Is there a metrosexual liberation parade?

My wife has often said, affectionately, that she married a girl. Of course, this "girl" fought for his country at the height of Ronald Regan's Cold War campaign, and today still can do 35 pushups and situps barely breaking a sweat, not to mention runs for 20 minutes each morning. And drinks beer and stuff. And farts loudly.

Must be the skinny jeans and suede boots makes her say those things.

But just when I thought for once in my life I was satisfied materialistically, the record store calls. The record (LP) I ordered--a Yardbirds live record--three months ago finally arrived. They'll hold it for me until I can come in. This gets me thinking about the other record I've decided I want, Jimi Hendrix at the Monterey Pop Festival.

Materialism is a bitch!

Why must I be such a material girl!!!

Have I given you cunts enough to think about yet?

You are a girl trapped in a man's body.

Let me out, let me out!

But don't step on my blue-grey suede shoes!

A shirt with this image on it, minus the words.