Thanks Atari. I'll check out the youtube thang tomorrow at my government sponsored "Work 4 the Dole" project I gotta do twice a week. An obscene waste of time but at least I can surf the net and check stuff out.

My computer at home can't do youtube. No wonder I got tha blues!!!

And yeah... best wishes to you and Cantankerous and others trying to work stuff out.

I might have to suss out this exercise idea. Exercise could be the answer. Anything apart from religion....

have any of you ever heard of thomas sasz? he's porffessor of psychiatry at new york university. you should check out hismanifesto.

i like anybody who has a manifesto, really

and obviously, porfessor was a typo. i can spell proofecior

ugh. that's sad.

leave me alone, i invited him over and we had a slumber party and i said sorry


mentally i feel a bit better, certainly much more sane. actually i don't know why i was acting so silly.
but physically i'm doing terribly, even worse than yesterday...i'm too weak in the hands to use a lighter or squeeze the toothpaste out and it takes a minute to get up out of bed. and i have a fever and it hurts in my ears to swallow.

you're depressed honey.

been there, etc. know what you're going through.

you have to make the effort, go out more, keep busy and focus on goals.

this illness is unrelated though, i have an actual infection. my lymph nodes are swollen out to mars.
and seeing that it takes me at least two or three minutes to actually get out of bed i dont think ill be going anywhere anytime soon.

i believe you, it is a physical thing you have, but besides that you're in depression and that doesn't help your disease.

DISEASE!
ahaha

at least you're laughing now...

my sig is for you

thanks darling!

cankers-- go see a docteur. you probably need a shot of vitamin b also. your "partying" (i'm using the verb in the jerry springer sense) has got you poisoned. that shit is not recreational anymore-- it's just a big fucking load of pain.

i've been hammering this over your head for a while now but shit, you have to take care of yourself first, get your body detoxed and repaired, and your mind somewhat put together before you try to please people and put on public appearances. come clean about your motherfucking problem and recruit the help of friends and family. you can't you can't you can't you fucking can't do this all on your own.

but bitch, you gotta take the first mothefucking step and notify people. grow some balls and DO IT. come on already.

i already quit drinking, kiss my ass. i'm doing it on my own time. i'm in a lot of fucking physical pain right now due to this illness, ffs even my FEET hurt, and i can't handle any more than this.

LOL @ wrongdiagnosis

apparently i got the aids.

no i think i have strep throat. icky. im gonna go look for white patches.

edit: AND SURE ENOUGH! there they are!
well all my problems are solved now (jk of course)

ha, i know youre doing it in your own time-- nobody can make you. i just like to hammer my point cos like you mentioned above somewhere you have problems with "reality" & i like to remind you what that shit is ha ha-- think of me as a well-intentioned PEST.

well reality right now is that i have the worst strep throat ever because i shared like three cigs with my best friend the other day who has strep throat but is on antibiotics. so she shouldnt be contagious or anything but like i'm the unluckiest little shit in the world.

You stop being contagious 24 hours after you start taking the meds. My friend is queen of getting things like strep, I never get it though for some reason.

who the fuck gets strep throat in summer? (or ever). go eat some fresh fruit, you're malnourished.

when i think about it, we should collect some funds and send you to a bootcamp with suchfriends-- you'd come out stoned out of your gourd but you'd be lots healthier.

i have not had strep throat in nine years. this is only the 2nd time ever having it.
i'm going to start smoking a lot of pot/hash again and i'm gonna stop eating meat too (i honestly don't think i'll miss it). not eggs or cheese/milk because i do need protein and calcium and stuff like anyone does.