Pretty much I blame any problem during December on my "shitter being full" and my first question to anyone's problem is "did you check your shitter?" Also, "Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass, Kiss His Ass, Kiss Your Ass, Happy Hanukkah" is said way too much. I really don't even need to watch the movie anymore.

comething?

Hahahaha. I think I'll start that too. Just for the hell of it.

Oh, "bend over and I'll show you" and "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"

I also have this memorized:
"I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?"

Hahahahahaha. WIN

It all fades in from black on old women’s fake dentures sinking their teeth succulently in to juicy hunks of chicken flesh in a way that is almost sexual. Sucking sounds fill the air. Licking and scrapping, and gnawing their way to the bones only to suck more on the stringy muscle fibers that remain tethered from the drumstick.

Flashes of men dancing in some tribal preto-natural way. Voodoo Drum sounds flooding the atmosphere.

Camera pans in on a small boy dirty and half clothed, sitting in a mound of silt holding a vinyl record. Camera pans left slightly to reveal a similarly dressed man sitting on some sort of elaborate parade float holding a record player. The boy rubs up the man’s leg with his fingertips until he reaches the lap and onto the record player. He put’s the record on and hits play. When the needle makes contact with the record and the record starts to spin loud explosions and whistles fill the air and you see faded over images of missile fire from World War 2.

Camera fades in still framed on a plowed field with bloody arms and legs coming out of the field like crops. Half buried bodies almost fully grown out of the rows. As sad mournful 70’s style psychedelic music plays.

Narration starts over the music:

“These bodies will grow into men. They will be harvested at a time the government will appoint by law. They will be handed their draft cards and a bottle of cheap whisky and will be encouraged to propagate their race with diseased hookers and junkies so that their kind will easily accept defeat and lay down their lives before gods and rich alike.”

A man with a monocle and top hat approaches and points to one of the bodies in the field and says, “I’ll take that one.” and pointing at another “That one.”

Camera comes in through a doorway into some sort of medical lab. The two selected men are strapped to a table and the man with the monocle is present. A nurse with huge tits looking like a 14 year old boy’s wet dream fantasy proceeds to squirt perfume in the mens’ eyes and poke and prod them with various instruments.

Narration:

“His new line of perfume is a success! The fragrance is exhilarating. The test bodies will be burned and no one will know of the side effects because they are…minimal and only effect poor people.”

Now a camera view of bodies being burned and loud screams flood through the crackling roar of the fire.

A normal looking man strolls through a village of tents along a dusty path. Tons of mountain dew cans and TV dinner boxes flood out of the tents. Popcorn bags tumble through like tumble weeds. The man walks down the trail and looks inside the first tent.

Tent 1: A woman in unflattering baggy underwear washing dishes in a bucket while a man sits reclined in a chair drinking a beer and looking at a TV. The TV has NASCAR on it and the man is yelling at the woman “I work all god damn day and come home and you can’t even have dinner ready? Your pussy’s fuckin’ rotten. I don’t know why I’m with you.”

The man goes back to the trail and zigzags across to tent 2.

Tent 2: Is empty except for a dog in a sweater vest barking backwards.

Man continues.

Tent 3: contains a man in a bear mask taking a shit on a toilet and stuffing his face with handfuls of honey.

Tent 4: contains sleazy methed out crack whore taunting the man to come inside for 20 bucks. A girl in the far corner injects heroin into her thigh and falls back into the corner.

Tent 5: A priest and a rabbi arguing and ripping at each others garbs and religious trinkets.

Camera starts in a graveyard and the man from the first tent is standing over a grave holding a pot and a can of corn. “God Damn it how’m I gonna cook this. I work all god damn day and come home and their ain’t no dinner. You aren’t worth shit. Your pussy’s fuckin' rotten. I don’t know why I’m with you.”

Time for sleeping. Peace.

The man twists his mustache and checks his watch. As the seconds tick closer to noon the camera flashes a speeding train several time and then cuts to a woman tied to the tracks. The train speeding down on her the man jumps near her side and rubs and smells her hair. The woman screams I’ll do anything. Let me go! The man unties her and she is saved. She says thank you sir for saving me. Did you see the man who did this to me? The man said no. She asked “How did you know I was here” The man explains “There is always a woman here at noon. They always say that they will do anything and I always let them go. “I see said the woman.” What do you want of me? The man thinks for several seconds. Tilts his head to the side and said lift your dress for starters. She lifts it a little. Higher…a little more, HIGHER, HIGHER, HIGHER, till I see nothing but crotch. She lifts and she screamed. I knew it he yelled. I knew it would happen…He removes a pair of scissors and chops off clumps of her pubic hair and puts them in a glass jar and he scurries away and the woman falls to her side and cries. The man bounds over a hill, along a river, and to a little clearing by some trees. There are drag marks along the ground. He follows them. He reaches Christ and the devil carrying a cross covered in sweat. He hands Jesus the jar and takes the cross from them and drags it up the road and is gone. Jesus and the devil exhausted sit against a tree. They open the jar and stuff their mouths full of the young girl’s pubic hair. Slowly it revitalizes them. They then laugh with mouthfuls of hair.

Narration: The gods are rich and with them we poor men may be rich as well.

Switch to the tents and all the people come running out with their mouths full of pubic hair dancing around like they had won the lottery rejoicing.

I don't know what shirt to wear tonight. I would wear my Misfits but I still think it's hokey to wear a shirt of the band you're going to see...even if it is Misfits. I'm thinking maybe Skinny Puppy or one of my non-band black shirts.

keyboard slam bjhn,dfjkdfhjfj

I'm a sucker for girls with Eastern European/Russian accents.

Off to the Misfits!!!

have fun josh! lots of details when you get back.. if you're not tired out.

my hattrick team will play a friendly match at ลาส นอร์เช่ ฮูเอโกมุนโด้ บลีช stadium in prathet thai

qué bien!

Hola camaron sin cola.

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OK, I think I need to get off the internet NOW...

What?

"You're one of us."
"You're one of us."
"You're one of us."
"You're one of us."
"You're one of us."
"You're one of us."
"You're one of us."
"You're one of us."
"You're one of us."

I'll just go bullet form:

• Most violent show I've ever been to. I was in/on the edge of the mosh the whole time.
• I did a lot of fist-pumping and singing.
• I also cracked my head against some chick's skull.
• The only songs they didn't play I wanted to hear were "Demonomania" and "We Bite"
• "Skulls", "Astro Zombies", "I Turned Into A Martian", and "Hybrid Moments" will go down as some of my best live moments

• The pit during "Die, Die My Darling" was the most intense I've ever seen.

• I called the venue and they told me they had coat check, but when I got there they said they didn't have one for this show, So I was stuck in my coat all night. I rolled up the sleeves and put my scarf in my pocket.
• I have never been covered in the sweat of so many other people. I'd say upwards of 20.
• During the opening band, a beer cup was thrown and somehow beer ended up in my pocket.

That's about it I guess.
Here's the part where I reaffirm my statement that I'd rather be in a pit with punks than at a show full of hipsters any day.