Haaaaaahahaha

Hm. "The List" left me a little cold, but he does have a way with words. I'll give him that.

I listened to a few others and the music is always deadly dull, but he's a pretty good storyteller and I can see why a certain demographic loves him.

"I Wanna Talk About Me" might be my fav. Bitches never shut up, yapping all the time about their lives, thoughts and feelings. Give it a rest, cunt. I can think of a better use for your mouth. Am I right fellas?

So you didn't get the Drumpf hat or buy every gun you could afford. But you did join the Pussy Grabber Women Are Chattel Club :(

But I know you're only kidding, right evollove? ;)

Or are you? :confused:

I used to be a feminist, but dude makes some good points. Not sure I'll buy a MAGA hat, but I do feel more comfortable beating women.

I used to quite like "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay. And a few other songs of theirs ("Lost," "Speed of Sound.") I also like "Strawberry Swing," but more as a Frank Ocean song than as a Coldplay song. I like a few others too, but they really seem to have bottomed out. Not even capable of making a decent pop tune anymore.

Same goes for U2. In pretty much the exact same way. I like a lot of their early singles well enough. Even some stuff from the '90s. But holy wow have they sucked a fuck for the past 20 years.

Fair point about Coldplay--a handful of their songs aren't bad. But they're such bad performers that it hardly matters.

I agree wholeheartedly about UBlew. Fuck Bonehead, The Dredge and the bass guy. The drummer is the only member of the band who can pass for human.

The first two Coldplay albums are solid early 2000s pop. More than enough interesting ideas to make it worthwhile. Some of their stuff is more clever than you'd think when you pull them apart

^^^ I actually agree... to a point. I think "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" from Mylo Xyloto was the last song that I thought had some legitimate pop banger chops. I enjoyed the hip-hoppy production and "EDM-but-not-quite-in-a-gross-way" feel of the song's pacing (I'm quoting myself here, btw... :cool: )

I don't think anything they've released since has even been worthy of a second listen. Or a first. I think I put on Ghost Stories for a sec before realizing there was nothing there but slow sad bullsht, and the newest one... I can't even recall its name.

But... they've done some nice stuff, guys. For real.
Here, allow me to break it down for you because I'm sitting in a service center waiting for my car to be fixed and I have fuckall else to do.

Parachutes
Their first album had a couple of tunes that were very strong, however. "Yellow" is just a good fucking song. Oasis wishes they had ever written a song so perfectly poppy, tuneful, and reverent of quasi-indie "hip" influences like Stone Roses and Ride. That song deserved to be as big as it was. It's not my favorite kind of music by a loooong shot, but you're mad if you don't appreciate how sweet that shit sounded next to Third Eye Blind and Korn on the radio.
Still not an album I ever had any interest in owning... not an album I'll likely ever listen to in full, but still... "Yellow" was the tits.

A Rush of Blood to the Head
Their second album had even more good tunes. Some were a bit heavy-handed, but still, the humble charm of it was refreshing. "Clocks" was good, and had a nice metronomic, almost mathy beat. VERY Radioheadesque. I think the opening track was pretty sweet too.
I actually saw them around the time A Rush of Blood to the Head was blowing up (headlining a festival with Flaming Lips, Modest Mouse and Neko Case!), and unfortunately their charm on-record didn't translate to the stage. My friends and I walked out after about 30 minutes of Chris Martin mewling at a piano w/ lights.
Again, not an album I would want to own. I actually did buy it because I was dating a girl at the time who really loved "The Scientist" and wanted it to be our song. She was not the brightest bulb, but she was gorgeous, so of course I was a sex-zombie for 6 months or so. :D

X&Y
This is when they really started getting massive. I think pretty much all the singles on this album, with the exception of the criminally overused and shitty-as-fuck to begin with "Fix You." For instance, "Talk" sampled fucking Kraftwerk and turned that "Computer Love" riff into a winning, stadium-sized melody reminiscent of early U2 (back when they were pretty good... like Unforgettabke Fire-era).
"Speed of Sound" had a nice build to it. Actually, a very nice build. It properly and correctly inflates the drama and tension with each passing verse until it blows up into a legitimate power-pop anthem. Again, not the kind of thing I generally give a shit about, but back in this era, I was perfectly happy that Coldplay and Queens of the Stone Age were ruling radio stations like The End instead of... y'know... Nickelback or whatever.

Viva La Vida
STILL not my cup of tea, but this is the best of them. Several of these songs are just undeniable. Yeah, Chris Martin is a terrible songwriter, but he knows that, and he's at his best here. "Viva La Vida" is a good song. Probably their their best non-"Yellow" pop music moment. And it was HUGE. But it's actually "Lost" that really gets me. I can't help it. I just plain like that song without qualification. I defy you to put it on and not bob your head. It's good. Drums used effectively, and played well.

After that, as I said, it's only "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall." Everything else seems to be definitively horseshit.

Now, don't misunderstand me. They're not a great band, or even a good one. This is not the kind of thing I like or listen to. But when these songs come on the radio or whatever, I don't turn them off.

Best Coldplay song is "Shiver".

Huh? Seriously?

No. "Lost."

I always loved "Shiver." I was subjected to Parachutes and taht um Blood To The Head album a lot back in the day. I enjoyed some songs from each. And from Vida. But yeah, not a band I personally *like* but they have songs I like.

You fuckers have reached a new low with your Coldplay talk.

Satan will munch on your souls. He will MUNCH on them!

C'mon brah don't be like that. Good songs are good songs. I don't know the lyrics to any of these. They just have nice grooves. Also, did you miss the part where I walked out of a Coldplay show at a festival I'd paid major cash money to attend?

Fahhhhh!

plus it's a thread about bands we don't even like. I mean, by default this should pretty much be a thread about shitty bands.

Henry Rollins went a bit further than you.

If Radiohead wrote "Trouble" from Parachutes and put it on In Rainbows with a glitchy beat people would have lost their minds. I had to learn it the other day for work and it's deceptively complex harmonically

Which proves Radiohead suck all kinds of donkeydongs.

But people did lose their minds over this song, didn't they? It was a pretty huge hit everywhere. I think it sounds more like the sort of maudlin ballad Adele builds her financial empire of dread and tears on.

That was pretty funny.

Adele wouldn't know how to sing over those chords. "It's got wrong notes innit?"