Abnormal situations you've been in
 

Hello Poe!

I was at the top of an extension letter propped against a tree on my tippy toes saving a kitten.

one time i was in a train station waiting room and an old lady beside me fell outa the very uncomfortable wooden chair she was in and onto the floor, she then began to froth at the mouth and shake uncontollably, i knelt beside her and called someone that worked at the station who called an ambulance. i told her that she would be ok but i dont think she could hear me.
one other time i was crossing a very busy road in Dublin and a young woman was knocked off her bicycle and a lorry drove over her head right in front of me. i learned a lot about how precious human life is that day.

i once spent lots of time on the sonic youth message board

freaky!

it'd be more abnormal if you ever LEFT...

i took a class on "abnormal psychology" once.

did you just make an unfunny post, or am i dreaming?

did you just make ANOTHER post or am I dreaming?

Once I was going to visit someone I hadn't seen in a long time and passing by a house that had been in construction but was left half finished, sitting on an old chair just at the front door was an old man who smiled at me ghostly as I passed by. I still don't know what the old man was doing there, whether he was homeless and had picked that place as his dwelling place, or whether he was a guard of some kind. Anyway, he scared the shit out of me. I know the situation is not weird per se, it was just an unreal moment.

it's true!

constitutionally unfunny...

could it be low testosterone?

http://www.biopsychiatry.com/testosmood.htm

once, while going to see a movie under-the-influence, I walked into the women's restroom.

I actually thought "where are all the urinals" but shrugged it off and proceeded to drain myself in a stall.

it wasn't until I turned around and noticed all the women looking at me that I realized my mistake.

I smiled, waved and left the theater as fast I could.

good times.

the UFO's won't catch themselves.

stop playing hall monitor and go put on yr black suit.

I blame Zeta 1 Reticuli (Tau Ceti System).

i once had to be a sentry guard to ensure that two contestants on a world famous tv show didn't leave their hotel room at a famous london hotel, because they were trying to escape, to make matters even more weird it was on the day of the 7/7 bombings in london. i can't divulge any further information as i signed a confidentiality agreement, and could get sued.

everyday is fucking abnormal i live in a desert with cowboys and meth heads theres god damned cactus as tall as buldings and ten gallon hats that hide the raw flesh that is a cowboy digusting man

Once when I was about 10, me and my brother and this other young kid were the only kids left on the bus, and we pressured him into eating this apple that rolled around on the floor, and he went into a seisure. I don't know how that stuff works, I'm not even sure I spelled seisure right, so I don't know if they were connected or not, but still, felt a little awkward...

I was pulled into a dropoff from an undertow in a river when I was little. I woulda died for sure but some guy grabbed me and pulled me out. I have no idea how he knew where I was in the water.

My wife struck up an internet friendship with Lisa Carver of Suckdog fame, and when Lisa was on tour promoting her book Drugs Are Nice, I made dinner for her and her entourage at our house.

We then went to her "reading", which of course was a bit of a performance art thing (I've got some photos here) featuring what she basically does today which is to get young women to relive her life for her in a manipulative cult leader sort of fashion (like everything she does, kind of cool, kind of questionable, and certainly interesting.) This particular gig at Dunes in Portland was just a couple nights after she was attacked by members of the Church of Satan in San Francisco for stuff she wrote about Anton La Vey and his daughter in the book, so there was difinitely an edge to the night.

We showed up to Dunes before even the bar staff had come to unlock the door, and that's when Lisa became convinced she'd seen her infamous ex Boyd Rice. I don't know if it was really him or not, or if she's just obsessed and was hallucinating. I guess he does live in Portland at least some of the time, but I know that I've hallucinated my crazy ex in places she wasn't before, and she doesn't hold a candle on that scale to Mr. Rice (or Ms. Suckdog for that matter!) So, she thinks she sees Boyd and she ducks in the doorway and uses me, who happen to be the tallest person and closest to the doorway, to hid behind. That was just fucking weird, Lisa Carver hiding behind me so that Boyd Rice wouldn't see her. Just damn odd.

i was walking down the street in texas and saw this woman yelling at her boyfriend person, completely going hysterical, for leaving her for a white woman. then he walked up to his new girlfriend (the white woman) and kissed her on the mouth as the woman completely lost her shit. all the while, there's dudes sitting on a doorstoop literally smoking crack. i was gonna hold the door to the liquor store open for the poor lady, but she started speaking in tongues and shit, so i just left. i still can't believe those dudes were smoking crack in broad daylight. i always associated it with how pookie did it in new jack city.

I saw a homeless guy smoking crack in a parking lot once. Another time I was at this ski hill and some crack head came up to a bon fire we were having and passed his pipe to a bunch of kids. They took it haha, cause you know, crack is cool :rolleyes:

wait...they actually smoked the crack?

crack is where i draw the proverbial line.

Yup.

wow...i've always wondered how you get to the point where you do crack.

A retarded burst of curiosity I guess haha.

i think it's a combination of illogical curiosity and a natural progression of events, your biology, geography etc.

i can't stop loooking at your icon.

kool aid man does have something of a raw animal magnetism about him, doesn't he?

I wish I had some cherry and/or grape Kool Aid right now.

I can't stand kool-aid.

i just wanna dip all in him with a fun dip stick.

You mean this?

precisely.

healthy lungs are not worth it
i want to resume smoking

I once got caught jerking off stale fish while whistling dixie with a thimble on my right middle toe with a string acting as a grounding for the entire electricity for the cowpie-mud hut I lived in on a mountain as it balanced at the very tip.

you are talking minnesotian* here.






*language spoken by people from minnesota.

i have been in the middle of a couples arguments before and that was quite strange and unpleasant.

also being propositioned by a couple and then a man on the same night was quite a strange one. i am far from good looking so god knows what they saw in me that night. i turned them all down incase you where wondering which i am sure you wernt.

Oooohhhh Yeeaaaaahhh!

i could also give you about a million storoes involving public transport and strange people including the woman who thought i was a witch and wanted to exorcise me and the racist ex con on speed who wanted to tell me all the prisons he had been in.

it was one of those situations that was funny both at the time and afterwards.

whats yours?

Buses are a magnet for strange folks. I was standing on a bus opposite this guy yesterday, and he kept on going about how everyone on the bus was gonna die. He was the lovechild of George Martin and Christopher Walken.

Me and some friends once went to a music festival near venice. Getting nearer to the place where the festival was held we noticed an ABNORMAL amount of policemen and police cars everywhere. A few of my friends were carrying some, ehm , "recreative substances" and decided to make a U-turn and get back home. The situation was pretty strange, this was a festival organized by the local administration, surely not a "dangerous" freaky festival...we did not understand the need of that many policemen, but we decided to go nonetheless...so, we get to the entrance, and, as usual, police stopped ME to check my backpack :
"Sorry, no bottled beers allowed"
"what? but they sell them at the festival ?..."
"Sorry, we can't let you in"
"Uff, my friends are already in...what should I do?"
"Well, you can either wait them out till the end of the gig, or you could leave the beers here, or drink them and then get in..ha ha!"
"Uh, ok"-
So I drank 7 500ml bottles of beer in front of them in, like,10 minutes (the gig was about to start) and then they let me in like nothing happened.
Morons.
The day after we read in the newspaper that there ahd been a bank robbery there, and all the police cars/men were still chasing/searching for the criminals.