Has anyone here been impaled by a rhinocerous or bitten by a shark?
 

I thought it'd be interesting to see the comparison...since so many people have a fear of sharks...but I think it's just irrational fear generated by media, and Steven Spielberg in particular...And there has never been a decent killer rhino movie...

edit-forgive my incorrect spelling of rhinoceros in the title.

I have an irrational fear of Steven Spielberg if that counts...

Hell what am I saying its completely rational, everytime he makes another film I wanna crawl under a rock and arise when he stops making so many fucking cridgeworthy, everyone-asks-me-to-see-it-with-them-everyday films. Go Block your Buster Spielberg!

ah, lay off ol Stevie, he's a hard-workin jew with a hot daughter whom i hope to woo

I've been bitten by a shark. If by shark you mean bitch.

I've stepped on a weaver fish. Not nice at all.

i've been pinched by a crab. no fun.

Must... not... make... crab.... joke....

Did it dig deep?

that's not funny!
yes it is.
no, it was on my knee when i was four or five. we were on vacation at a beach somewhere.

since i made him a poll option, perhaps i should give some support to the giraffe.

giraffes are lovely. look at those pretty eyelashes.

yeah, no chin structure though...

like the doll in catanky's sign, all included, except the tongue.
Ii've been stung by a couple bees, that's all animals ever did to me. A couple jellyfish have been bad to me too. Nothing major, I don't want them to extinct. Now, what about a shark with rhino horns??? THAT would make for a great movie.

I caught a shark once when fishing. One of the biggest "what the fuck!?" moments of my life.

once i caught a baby stingray in florida.

Not quite what you're looking for, but how does "When Swordfish Attack" sound? A toxic spill in the Mediterranean leads to a genetic mutation: savage marauding swordfish with the ability to fly.

Some people actually died for injuries caused by swordfishes jumping out of the water and into their stomachs (stomaches??), but that's a nice idea... or is that a real movie? :o:D. Thanks for the R-a-R again, btw (forgot to pm you)!!!.

I was once chased by a male ostrich in heat. Managed to get away by crossing a stream.
I also got stung by a scorpion on my butt when I sat down on a log at a campsite.
Doesn't match a shark bite or rhino stampede though.

No, I made that one up, but now I think about it, it is rather similar to one of the Piranha movies - possibly the second one.

EDIT:

I've had a giraffe's ear imbedded in my head.

It was a toy plastic one, but it hurt as much as if it were real, let me tell you.

please do elaborate.

i have never been bitten or impaled but i was stung by a poisonous fish when i was a kid and had to be rushed to hospital with a huge red line of poison running up my leg.

I was stung by a bee in my foot, when I was small. Couldn't walk straight after that for a whole week.

Yes and as a result many shark species are now in danger of extinction.

fuck Shark Week.

I want Rino Week dammit.

well i think theres been enough replies to validate my point: It is highly unlikely you'll ever be bitten by a shark, and you have just as much of a chance of being impaled by a rhino! This has been a highly scientific study.