Dumbest song in the universe?
 

I think I finally found it, guys!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yehUP82QKXQ


I challenge, nay, DARE you to find worse.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BgoOihBb78w

this went #1 in at least five countries.......i just.....i just.......well i am at a loss for words, give me Robbie Williams over this

You've got to love this little song graced by the vocals of Troy Hess. I thought that it might have been a joke at first, but it's not.

Direct link to mp3
"Please Don't Go Topless, Mother" written by Ron Hellard. Performed by Troy Hess.

Mother dear, I know you must work
though the job you got is really not the answer
I'm so ashamed to be the only guy in my gang
whose mother is a topless Go-Go dancer

Oh, please don't go topless, Mother.
I hate to be quite so blunt.
The kids all laugh but I don't cry
You're not the only one who's putting up a front.

Oh, please don't go topless, Mother
But I just can not tell a lie
You're ruining your reputation
and I can give you two big reasons why.

Please don't go topless, Mother
Even though it buys me clothes to wear
I'd rather wear old rags, Mother
You've got a burden you shouldn't have to bear.

[talks] Oh, please don't go topless, Mother.
Little friends won't come to see me (but their
Daddy's do)
I'll shine shoes, I'll collect pop bottles
anything to help out.
Then we'll go off together and start over
with no shame for the people to talk about.

Oh, please don't go topless, Mother.
I hate to be quite so blunt.
The kids all laugh but I don't cry
You're not the only one who's putting up a front.

Full song:

Please Don't Go Topless Mother



I first came across it on the weirdsville website a few years ago and it's become a favourite.


More info on about Troy Hess and his father Bennie Hess on this blog:
http://www.dreamtimepodcast.com/2007_02_01_archive.html

sarra is so good, it's scary...

The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things

"Who's Got The Crack" by Moldy Peaches beats all of these a thousandfold.

I think I hate you.

All nice but they don't compare to Ice T whining about his supermodel girlfriend for four and a half minutes.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lByTXCfFMtI

It's kinda hard to keep up with the lyrics, ever line ends with 'ohh'...

And you just know you're missing something really insightful too!

I don't know... It kinda sounds like Rollins Band...

EDIT: Except for that telephone part. It's like the OC on blood doping... OC Vampire... Horror Goth OC... But overall the song's kinda ok......

But the beat... gross Jamaican steal drum, fingersnapping, and... hit organ.

Yeah, especially after NoSouledSinner says that the song is good, but a little repetitive... It's probably drone-influenced... Anybody up for some noise?

But apart from the generic "heavy" sound, listen to the lyrics. The song is called "Relationships" for chist sake.

it pained me to even search

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pWHCm6H9tfQ

"we ain't go-ing no where" fuck that has many meanings

i like the beat from that song quite a bit though

Kinda like M.C. Hammer on psyclobin...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmcmTE7NIAY

I heard this song on the radio the other day and nearly drove my car into oncoming traffic just to end my misery. Then I realized I could just change the station. Seriously though, this is my most hated song in the entire universe right now. I get this fucking piece of trash stuck in my head all the time too, that's the worst part.

This topic ended when Soulja Boy came in.

I can't leave my dorm without hearing that fucking song, and sometimes I hear it in here from people down the hall. Fuck that song and all the dumb shits who play it 20 times a day. It represents everything wrong with rap music.

There's 'good dumb' and there's 'bad dumb'. The good dumb would probably be The Dayglow Abortions' "Fuck Satan to Death", "Hide The Hamster" or "Proud To Be a Canadian". The bad dumb would have to be that crap about letting the dogs out; or "Whoo--there it is!", where they just point at one ignorant woman's naked arse after another; or that Gwen Stefani nonsense about bananas being b-a-n-a-n-a-s--that's not exactly Leonard Cohen's "Suzanne' or The Doors' "Soul Kitchen"!

Stupid marketed shit.

dare taken:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL2UsAbI1hg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmPzUILDeNk

has the world already forgotten this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z7t-Ox3XvU

and it's bastard child:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XubVpeq4E20


ps: you see? the thing with soulja boy is that i can't really tell it apart from the other million songs with the finger-snaps and the awful "rapping" made by yung something or lil' another.

that was pretty bad. that is ring of honor stupid song

that song sucks so bad. p doodoo can go fuck himself.

this is my favorite stupid song
You can find me in the tub
playin with bubles
and washin my bootie
Ya hear me?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GautSlgAsN0

this was my most hated
song for 5 years
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IOb5PxgJJOo

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4WLD4oXbrQA

Dear god, this song is so horrendous that I was cringing while typing her name into the search box.

anything by nickelback.


that song is SO HORRIBLE there are no words to describe it.

and those kids in the video- i almost cried for them.

This makes me shiver in agony.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=EbJtYqBYCV8

try this for size:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PJV9EMkv0u4

YES! I absolutely loathe that fucking song!

This one just...just ..makes me want to kill everything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V_rXTp1yBU

Crash Test Dummies - Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm

If most people are like me in this aspect, they don't wan't to have to click the YouTube links to discover yr "dumbest song" nominee.

Anything by Kate fucking Nash is guaranteed to piss me off at the moment - she's almost as ghastly as that Razorlight band.

Funny you should mention Razorlight

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ASuI34exHlE

While I semi-agree with Atari on the "do I really have to click the link to find out" thing, now that I'm posting one, I rather like the idea of torturing people by making them actually experience this shit.

^^^Conclusive proof that J Borrell really is a cock of humugous proportions. Anyone who likes this tune should have their ears filled with concrete.