Cynical love songs that you can think of
 

I love cynical love songs or songs about having been in love that are cynical. Two that immediately spring to mind are Husker Du's 'Sorry Somehow' and Burt Bacharach's 'I'll Never Fall In Love Again', especially the version sang by Dionne Warwick. Go.

Without any irony whatsoever, I'll say: Pretty much anything by The Beautiful South.

I'm sorry for bringing their name up in a place of culture, but you did ask.

I think that Paul Heaton used to be a great pop songwriter and I am a big fan of The Housemartins, so I second the choice with no shame.

Anything by Pulp.

Nearly anything by Serge Gainsbourg.

A lot of Elvis Costello...

be specific people!

Ok, specific: One of Evis Costello's songs.

I'm thirding the Beautiful South. Their carry on up the charts is pretty essential, although I don't listen to it as much these days. They went a bit 'ha ha funny' after that (perfect 10) but they are capable of majesty.

Hank Williams - My love for you (has turned to hate)
MCR - Honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us.
Lil' Jimmy O'Rourke - Halfway to a threeway.
Trad. - A Comical Genius (I have the Dubliners doing this)
Blur - Miss America (although there's a few Blur songs that fit the bill)

Hmm. I'm sure I should be able to think of more.

Jeez, I just thought of so many that I then tossed out from that wedding songs comp thread of Spectal's.

How 'bout this one...you can't get much more blunt than this:

J. Geils Band - Love Stinks

Pretty much every song by the Magnetic Fields. "I Don't Believe You" comes to mind.

you making a mix tape with a hidden message?

The One I Love, no?

That's perfect, radarmaker.

Ramones-Glad To See You Go

Mascara lyrics

i feel soon i will sink into you
what do you think cause
there's still blood in your hair
and i've got the bruise of the year
but there's something about
her long shady eyes
i'm all about her shade tonight
i hate your tattoos you have weak wrists
but i'll keep you well it's too bad you're married to me.
but theres something about her long shady eyes
im all about her shade tonight

"Tainted Love" by Soft Cell

"Run For Your Life" by The Beatles which brings back the old blues tradition:

Well I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or I won't know where I am

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end 'a little girl

Well you know that I'm a wicked guy
And I was born with a jealous mind
And I can't spend my whole life
Trying just to make you toe the line

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end 'a little girl

Let this be a sermon
I mean everything I've said
Baby, I'm determined
And I'd rather see you dead

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end 'a little girl

I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or you won't know where I am

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end 'a little girl
Na, na, na
Na, na, na
Na, na, na
Na, na, na

Perhaps it's more of a jealousy and revenge song than a "cynical love song." Oh well...at any rate, these are some of the most twisted lyrics in the history of rock:

Let this be a sermon
I mean everything I've said
Baby, I'm determined
And I'd rather see you dead

leanord cohen-aint no cure for love

Shellac - Prayer to God

and how about Hank's Your Cheatin Heart.

How about Hank in general eh? Can't beat the Hank. Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers all go "Fuck me, that's fucking good" when they hear Hank.

Amen

I agree with the sentiment, but Dolly wouldn't use that language, for sure.

You're right, she wouldn't; well, at least in public. I love Dolly.

Swears like a cunt in private, you mark my words.

one thing i've learned is that, like Dolly, you are a very funny and clever man (for Dolly, make that "woman"). So no need for the c's and f's.

You're most kind. But I like swearing. It's big, and it's clever.

blondie - heart of glass

Good call. Man, I love that song.

Anthrax by Gang Of Four

"love is like a case of anthrax,
and that's something I don't wanna catch"

Gang of Four- Anthrax
Tom Waits- I Hope I Don't Fall In Love With You

The Mountain goats - No children

I hope I lie
And tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

Hank ftw.


The first song that popped into my head was Belle and Sebastian's "I Don't Love Anyone."

nick cave and the bad seeds -

let love in
where the wild roses grow
henry lee
into my arms
do you love me
babe i got you bad


grinderman -

i don't need you to set me free

johnny cash / neil diamond -

solitary man

johnny cash / will oldham -

i see a darkness

einsturzende neubauten -

morning dew

Lets go with Bob Dylans Lovesick. Dont really like Bob, but this is a great song.

"Lover I Don't Have To Love" by Bright Eyes:

'Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Do you like to hurt?
"I do, I do"
Then hurt me'

or their song 'Ship In A Bottle':

'Don't you love what is intangible
I have built this ship in a wine bottle
But if you knew who I was
You would never grow old'

Actually.. yeah.. just everything they (well, Conor) ever wrote was cynical.

Good call, totally forgot about that song.

Holly Golightly : I Can't Be Trusted ("All the time I'm on your mind, you should try to find another, in the back of my neck is no kindness, only lies as you'll discover, I can't be trusted, why won't you see, I won't give you anything, anything but misery")

Les Calamités : Pas la peine (my favourite French band; the singer is tired of her boyfriend and tries to find a cool way to get rid of him without being mean; so she starts doing things that would eventually lead him to say it's over; it works, she's happy happy happy, but all of a sudden he comes back because he feels good by her side; as the more she acted like a stupid girl, the more he believed he was way superior to her; in the end she questions her tactics, saying that it had not been worth the pain)

Adrienne Pauly : J'veux un mec (where she says that she can't care less about your thoughts, friends, job, gym, backache, soul, wife, shrink, all she wants is you to make love to her properly, no flowers but kisses, can't care less about your mom who left you, your dad who left you, your ex who haunts you, your motorbike that's bothering you and so on)

The Shams (with Sue Garner) : Love Me with Your Mind ("I know that you can procreate but can you truly conjugate?" among other things)

Male singers are far less cynical as I couldn't find any...

Hospital by The Modern Lovers.