Scientific Attempt To Create Most Annoying Song Ever
 

An online poll conducted in the '90s set Vitaly Komar, Alex Melamid and David Soldier on a quest to create the most annoying song ever. After gathering data about people's least favorite music and lyrical subjects, they did the unthinkable: they combined them into a single monstrosity, specifically engineered to sound unpleasant to the maximum percentage of listeners. The song is not new, but it resurfaced on Dial "M" for Musicology.


Amazingly, this "most unwanted music" contains little dissonance -- that would have been too easy. For the most part, they seem to have tried to assemble these elements in a listenable way.

Komar & Melamid and David Soldier's list of undesirable elements included holiday music, bagpipes, pipe organ, a children's chorus and the concept of children in general (really?), Wal-Mart, cowboys, political jingoism, George Stephanopoulos, Coca Cola, bossanova synths, banjo ferocity, harp glissandos, oompah-ing tubas and much, much more. It's actually a fascinating listen, worthwhile for the opera rapping alone. (We didn't think that was possible either.)


You can listen to and download the song on here: http://blog.wired.com/music/2008/04/...ntific-at.html

opera rapping? LOL

It has to be heard.

I'll check it out at the start of next month when my download limit resets :/

Listening... I like it pretty well.

Not sure how scientific their "scientific" approach was. They certainly overlooked some things.

they could have just used that recent kylie minogue song or the new duffy song about warwick avenue tube station and saved themselves a lot of trouble

listening to the opera rapping whilst that guy shreds on the bagpipes is blowing my mind

Why did I not think of opera rapping myself? I could have been the new Pavarotta.

I know a song thatll get on yer nerves
get on yer nerves
get on yer nerves
I know a song thattl get on yer nerves
get get get on yer nerves

here's the opposite experiment, a song created after 500 people were surveyed to say what they would most like to hear in a song, it's a lot worse, it's like a spoof michael bolton song
http://blog.wired.com/music/2008/05/...-produced.html

That's horrendous. I wonder who they interviewed that would like their favourite song to sound ''humble''?

all that and they didn't invite yngwie mälmsteen to contribute a neoclassical two handed tapping solo?

or just about anything heard on mTV in the past 10 years

Yes, this is really fucking good.

this isnt half as annoying as the annoying song by the butthole surfers!

This is moreso "let's try to clusterfuck a million genres to make one weirdbutt genre" than it is annoying. I could think of way more annoying sounds than this.

This actually kinda reminds me of something Negativland would do, especially with the Walmart jingles.

I was listening to bits of this. To me it just sounded a bit dull and sparse.
The Residents succeed in this sort of stuff better and are actually annoying, demented and great simultaneously.

I need to hear Helter Stupid to remember if it's more annoying than this.

The only difference is that what The Residents, Negativeland or even People Like Us do is not what these dudes were trying to do.

It's not like they were making some sort of artistic statement, they were just experimenting with what a sample of the population find are ''good'' or ''bad' qualities in a song, and then put those qualities together to compose two examples of songs that reflect what that group of people might have thought of as good and bad. Of course there are way more annoying songs out there, that's hardly the point.

that song is so fucking LONG

that, and the opera rapping are the worst aspects.

The opera rapping and that bit at 13:33 are my favourite bits. The whole thing is good.

All the scientific backup in the world won't convince me that Tina Turner's 'Simply the Best' isn't far more annoying.

Yr just a contrarian aren't ya?

Simply The Best - Tina Turner singing about how much she loved our marathon sex sessions back in 1988.

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wild
When you come to me
Give me everything I need
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams
Speak a language of love like you know what it means
And it can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it strong baby

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead

In your heart I see the star of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead

Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh baby, don't let go

the opera rapping is fantastic

Pointing it out like that, it all seems so obvious now! How could I not have guessed?

Here are the original lyrics

I call you when I need you, my cunt's on fire
You come to me, cum on my ass all wild
When you cum in me
Give me everything I need
Give me a lifetime of orgasms and endless thick cock
tell me yr stupid babble like you know what it means
And you can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it stop baby (le petit morte)

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your cock and hang on every pelvic thrust
Tear me apart, baby I want to bleed a little

In your heart I see the sickness and perversion every day
In my eyes you spooge, it won't wash away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
Yr finger third-knuckle deep in my cinnamon roll

Each time you pull out I start losing control
You're walking away with yr cock and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
i've never felt anything so deep before

I can't rep Rob.

I can, and have. And it was absolutely amazing! Phew, what a night.

I think I am going to write a song and start it with this line, which impressed me if I do say so myself

tell me yr stupid babble like you know what it means
And you can't be wrong

i enjoyed it immensely

I thought it was great, twice. Listening to it the third time I got bored. It's several legions away from the most annoying song ever for me, which is Hey Jude, but it's an amusing piece of whimsy.

Bland statements 2008 now!!!

Oh, why did I have to remind myself of how much I hate that song? Twat.

dont diss hey jude
its alright
a good singalong at drunken gettogethers for sure

FFFFFRRNRNRNRRNNRNRNGNNGNGNGNGNNGNGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH HHHHHH...

that's not annoying
it's just ludicrous and laughable

most of merzbow's output is annoying though

ludicrous and laughable

is that paul Mc Cartney?

actually that "song" WAS annoying. Had to stop that horrible sound after 4 minutes of it. Point is made.

Is it arse! :D

This song has me laughing really fucking hard. I think perhaps "The Fucked Jam" by Ween is the most annoying song ever made.