Post you limericks
 

Ones you've written. Here's mine, inspired by the Roberto Fripp thread:

There once was a musician named Fripp,
Who in his pocket made a terrible rip.
It wasn't so funny
He lost all of his money.
Due to the overdose he's now on a drip.

Pokey said I'll regret posting that. I don't know how he'll get my address. What do think about it?

I'll pay good money if this thread is left to die quickly and quietly.

There once was a carpenter named Jason
Whose best friend was a dried up raisin.
He got hungry one day
And ate the raisin in such a way
That the house he was building now needed a mason.

How do you like that one?

Did you take some acid, Lurker ?
Or maybe you drank too much coca for your "burp training"...

Bit of both.

Actaully I've never done acid. I would like to.

There once was a poster named Lurker,
Who wrote a limerick rather
Risque about Fripp.
Pookie told him get a grip
But Lurker aint no shurker.

Post you limericks? Who are you calling a limerick?

Yes, but take it to mean your at the same time.

Yr drunk, aren't you.

No, just in a good mood and I have been reading a lot of Joyce lately.

Could a drunk person write such good limericks?

Only a drunk person would want to.

I'm drunk on life.

There once a poster named gmku,
He was invito al cielo.
He said I was drunk
But I live like a monk,
I told him that and his face went quite blue.

There once was pimp called Cryptowonderdruginvogue
Who bought a very expensive brogue.
He realised he needed two
And bought the other shoe
And sued that cunning rogue.

There once was a limericker named Lurker
Who could find no one more beserker
Than he to use some words
In five lines so absurds
They turns the mind into a sodajerker.

Brilliant, I like it.

What's a sodajerker?

Did you get drunk so you would want to write limericks?

I coined it from the word sodajerk--the guy behind the counter at a soda fountain. Common in the 50s when drug stores had soda fountains (that is, a counter where you order soda drinks and ice cream dishes and stuff). The sodajerk was the guy (usually a high school kid) who filled the Coke glasses, dished the ice cream, made the shakes and malts, etc.

Ah right. We don't have drug stores in En-gland.

Well, even if you had them like we do, you wouldn't find soda fountains or soda jerks. They're 99 percent a thing of the past.

What a shame; What an age to live.

Believe it or not, I'm old enough to have experienced the soda counter thing. I lived in a little town that was still clinging to some of those things in the late 60s. When I was like 12 or so I used to hang out in this drug store where I could sit at a big long counter and order cherry Cokes for like 15 cents. They mixed it right there--put the cherry sryup in your glass then poured Coke from the fountain over it. Haven't had a cherry Coke nearly as good ever since.

Then I'd go over and raid the new comic books and walk out with an armful for the week.

Great store. I went back about a year ago just out of nostalgia and the place was still there, still a drug store, but it was all different. No soda counter, no comic books. Just an anonymous looking drug store. It was pretty depressing.

Wow that sounds great.

Yeah, I was very fortunate as a kid growing up, because I lived in some very sweet little towns. Imagine Mayberry from the Andy Griffith show, all cozy and pretty and tree-lined, little family grocery stores on the corners. You could leave your doors unlocked all the time. Ride your bike to the swimming pool without worrying about traffic. Baseball games in empty fields.

I mean, seriously, it was idyllic. I don't think most kids have it so good today, even in the best neighborhoods.

I still do that at bars. Until last month I was underage, so I kept them appeased by ordering cherry coke, and I could usually stay hanging around without getting checked. Bar cherry-cokes are amazing, made just like that.

But rarely are there comics. :(

It really does sound lovely. And all that freedom.


I don't know what the Andy Griffith show is. I'm English, see.

Yeah, I should try that. I'm afraid they might just whip out a can of Cherry Coke, though.

Sorry. You know Leave it to Beaver?

Anyway, quaint true Americana towns, like stuff from a Norman Rockwell painting. I lived in those wonderful, friendly places all through grade school and into junior high. Even though my parents weren't extremely well off (my dad was a teacher), my life felt very rich. But yeah, I think the greatest part of it was the freedom. I never remember my parents having to worry about where I went.

I've never seen it, but I suspect it's a valid fear. Either way, if they pull one out you can specify. They have all the ingredients, even it's not standard.

You've never seen a can of Cherry Coke? I think they're awful. They taste nothing like a real mixed cherry Coke.

I've heard of Leave it to Beaver but don't know what it is. I think I know what you mean anyway.

Fancy writing a limerick about it? Or several in a sequence making one larger poem.

Hah no, I've seen one. I've just never seen a bartender pull one out when I ask. But I agree, canned is shit.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I tend to be rather passive in bars and just take whatever they give me. I need to be more assertive in my bar presence, more Bond-like.

What are the proportions--syrup to Coke?

And more Bond like in your posts, remember?

i tried to write one
but i can't

Yeah, I think actually I would just take the can, too. But I imagine my advice would work for the assertive people out there.

Thank you. Yes.