That baer fellow that spams here
 

spammed at another message board I post on.

President of the Earth. Ha.

welcome to the internet!

please, have a seat.

Haven't noticed this baer character.

Maybe he meant to type 'bear.'

Any hairy gay dudes post here in a manner that could upset someone?

You mean besides Porky?

He'd need to pack on some pounds before I'd call him a bear, assuming he is in fact hairy.

If I were a gay dude I think I'd be the type that got kind of buff, grew a mustache, and prominently displayed my chest hair. Kind of like Sean Connery in that other thread, but toned down.

This thread is now for people to ponder on what type of gay dude they'd be.

communication is based on insults.

I'd definitely be the clean-shaven, sharp-dressing sort who knew the difference between a brogue and an oxford and could get away with hats, but hopefully not being a total bitch in the process. I think I'd have a carpenter as my boyf. Something useful like that.

A carpenter, that sounds nice.

I can't get away with hats.

No, but you get to talk to straight guys and don't have to pretend to be interested in Paris Hilton. That's pretty win.

a lesbian. definintely a lesbian.

my gf would be one of those geeky lesbians with the thick black glasses.

she'd be new to lesbianism and not at all bothered by the fact that I have a moustache.

You guys seriously don't remember Charles Webster Baer, from Bend, Oregon?

of course we do. the point is, he's been spamming every message board since the start of time itself.

and by time, I mean, the internet.

This thread is now about what sort of gay you'd be. If you don't want to comment on that, start your own thread.

We Chicagoans are stubbornly proud. We shout insults to New York with mouths full of all-beef hot dogs and Old Style beer. This general resentment mostly stems from being dubbed "The Second City." However, landmarks like NYC Ghosts & Flowers refocus our dislike with greater alacrity. Sonic Youth's umpteenth album wads everything we hate about New York into one convenient tissue. The only thing missing is the Mets. Sonic Youth remind us that white New Yorkers still grow soul-patches and goatees, wear berets and Rastafarian caps, dine on grilled tofu in an emulsification of goat butter and kumquat, and watch Dutch documentaries about fisting, thinking it's original, intellectual, or influential.

Isn't that the review that pitchfork gave NYC G&F?

What a bunch of tiny-cocks.....

I've changed my mind about the moustache.

I want to be a lipstick lesbian.

I think that it would help me secure a higher-grade of companion.

Now, in spite of the fact you didn't declare what sort of bumlord you'd be, does the above mean that Chicagoans are America's Mancunians? Which is to say, they tend to say, "Manchester's great. At least we're not [negative things about London which Mancunians always assume is the only city down south]." Any Chicagoans here to say why Chicago is actually good, except that it's not NY?

I'm not being funny, but have you met any lipstick lesbians? They're fucking monsters, the lot of them. You're better off with a diesel dyke, I swear.

why do we have to be a bumlord, you sexist cunt?

fannylords are people too.

Fannylords like bums too, posteriorphobe.

Incidentally: dude, mingelord was clearly the superior choice.

Hang on, do you mean British fanny or American fanny? You've properly confused me now.

I actually live in Indiana, I was just pasting some bullshit.

I know that. I was hoping to troll an amerikkkan into posting "aren't fannylords bumlords too?".

that said, are lesbians even allowed the lord title? granted, mingelady sounds almost too self-explanatory.

double-points for trolling the english.

GAWD, I'm good at this game.

The whole King/ Queen semiotic is so convoluted with the gays that I don't think 'Lord' need necessarily be applied gender-wise. Having said that, I like the idea of being a Knight of the phallus.

Isn't the first law of trolling to never admit you're trolling? cf every youtube comments war.

Oh Glice, you and your wishes of of Phalluc Knighthood, if only you understood what it takes to hold that title (on the internet its wit and twattery, in real life its an enormous penis, coupled with a superhuman sex drive. I'm talking alpha male silverback testosorone.)

I digress.

I'm a kinder, gentler troll.

I'm not in it for the LULZ so much as the chucklez.

also: this is the best CWB thread that ever was.

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ha yeah


vote for me.

best post ever made

You're entirely right. I think I'd be happy in such a place.

Staying completely on-point and ignoring off-topic banter, as a gay dude I'd probably only be into other manly men.

I think my ideal gay relationship would be with a man with some martial arts training. We could train together, roughhouse, and strive for a goal as one. And, when our sweaty bodies were locked together to see who could take down the other... sometimes a hand would slip and tug on the other's dong. But by and large I think we'd go by Ultimate Surrender rules: the winner fucks the loser.

Oh, you two would be simply a scream at my hypothetical fondue parties! You simply must [hypothetically and not sexually-hypothetically] come darlings! I'm sure me and the carpenter would have fondue parties. Where he could be a darling and make the table while I do the food and we both have a little tiff over what vintage of wine to open for the wrestling boys.

so, minus the carpenter boyfriend, you'd be exactly the same as you are now