Let's massacre a band vol.1- The Melvins
 

Never understood the veneration this band generates on this forum. They are one of the most boring and sexless bands I have ever seen live, and made me weary of many a band of dumb stoners with distorted guitars ever since our paths first crossed. On paper everything they are meant to do sounds very promising, then you listen to their records and find yourself wanting to shoot King fucking Buzzo in the mouth. We did have a poster on here who went under the username of King Buzzo, remember? Go, read his posts and see for yourself what The Melvins have done for our youth. This band is the living proof that you owe it to future generations not to listen to shit music, even more so if it's slowed down.

I love the Melvins and consider them as one of my favorites of all time. I admit when I first started listening to them I was a little agast. I did'nt quite relate. But after years of my husband playing it I started to understand. I love Stag and Nude with boots. They are the type of band that you either love or despise. I think I'm in love.

sexless = good.

the melvins are amazing.

i can't think of a least deserving band.

fail.

also they are one of the best live bands i can think of.

I'll let this pass because you seem like a sweet girl. One question, though: would you consider yourself to be a good mother if you played your kids ''Houdini'' or any other excuse for worthwile sonorous activity that this band churned out to your kids?
Edit- SONIC GAIL
Nick can fuck right off.

Thanks sweetie my kids like em, though they can't understand most of the words especially off of houdini which is probably a good thing. But I would consider myself as a good mommy exposing them to shit besides hanna montana & the naked brothers band.

I think king buzzo didn't like melvins though. Not 100% sure but pretty sure. As for myself, I don't care about them.

Nice thread idea though. Can't wait for the next volumes

yeah i notice i'm no longer in your good books, the way you've turned on me leads me to suspect because i didnt talk to you for ages i must not have been giving you enough attention and your narcissitic pride has taken a blow, but of course that would be absurd as i'm sure you'll remind me. oh, how i care.

have fun with your melvins hatred.

at their best they are absolutely unfuckwithable. check the live video revolve from the lollapalooza tour, or houdini, or stoner witch. no other band could do what they do, or have a song like hooch.

they've plowed through a very single minded and completely independent path for about 25 years, oblivious to anything else that has been going on around them, not really giving a fuck and constantly trying to innovate a singular and very strict sound. and its not like they cant make fun of themselves or are particularily pretentious about it.

Not talked to me for ages? Black book?Narcissistic pride? Man, are you losing the plot?
Not hard feelings here, or better still, no feelings at all for this stuff. I am always there for you if feel like venting via pm or email, just don't childishly expect me to always follow what you happen to be ranting on about with the same degree of interest that you seem to expect.

eh, no, i don't expect you to pay any attention to what i say, i hardly expect any interest from you, and have hardly behaved like i do.

and i don't think i'm loosing the plot, you're well aware that you changed your tone recently.

it's not like i care it's just kind of sad to watch.

i agree with the no feelings idea.

People see my CD collection and can't understand why I don't like The Melvins. I've tried numerous times to get into them but they just leave me with nothing (it's the same with Sunn o))) - even though I accept they're very different bands).

oof. Youve missed me there
Melvins arent the greatest band ever but they are top shit at what they do. I say this as someone who has never been stoned and never known a stoner who likes Melvins. Bullhead in particular is a thumping piece of goodness, they are the kind of band who tell you that theyre shit before you listen to them, but i think they do a good job of convincing you otherwise.

If this is going to be a regular thread idea, put me down for a spot in the Dinosaur Jr massacre

The Melvins are fucking awesome.

Gluery Porch Treatments, Ozma, and Bullhead and the solo Buzzo and Dale Crover ones are the ultimate in fabulous heavy riffage. so heavy makes you squrt juice out yr asshole man!!!!

great fucking live show.

They are an acquired taste I think.

Acquired definitly

Will you please stop bleating about everything, youre worse than famine.

and yet again, you fail at even being a cunt right.

I bow to your authority on the subject

The one time I saw Melvins was one of the most painful hours I've ever had in my 29year-long life.

thats pretty damning, ive not seen them live, why was it so bad?

At this point in this thread a group hug is urgently needed before we get back to the more serious matter at hand, which is reminding the internet about the shitness of The Melvins.

good start.

just plain fucking utter boring shit, since I fail at attempts for more accurate explanation.

Its not a start, its the end.

Anyway, i have attempted to steer us back to Melvins. If Nik wants to evacuate his colon via his mouth any more then i guess we'll have to deal with it as it comes.

i'm sure we should all be grateful your valaint efforts to reinstate this most important of discussions. love the shit joke, classic.

see thread title. Glad you like the joke sweet pea

I've seen shittier.

Purely on a musical level, I find the heaviness and slowness of their sound to fall flat on its own arse without any sense of dynamics that their playing suggests at first listen. They drag the chords played to such soporific heights of nothingness, they invoke mind-numbness rather than malignant enjoyment. Ok, I run out of gay terminology here.

reading that was one of the more distinctly uncomfortable moments of my time on this board. you win, your right about killing over a million innocent people to get rid of saddam being the right thing to do, your right about the melvins being shit, please, just don't talk to me like that again.

They were fairly rockin' when I saw them, hence that I can't bring myself to sincerely call them shite. Had they been doing the sludge thing, I could probably have been more damning.

I would say they invite you into a tryst via the depravity of their sound, and that tryst is a safe one due to the non-resolution of the player-listener relationship. But thats just me. I know Melvins are definitively crap, but that doesnt take me past liking them. I mean, you cant listen to Ashtray Navigations all day.

In fact i said neither of those things. I wouldnt mind you if you werent such a pansy about disagreeing with me in front of everyone as others do, but you decided to make your point in the comical world of "negative reputation" so frankly you deserve to be spoken to like "that"

oh! now you've given me a good speaking too!

come on man, i neg repped you because i disagreed with what you said. and then you pm'ed me a reply on the subject, and threw a fucking hissy fit when you couldn't think of a reply to any of the arguments i was making, and tried this whole "your a pussy because you posted what i said in a pm on the board for everyone else to see". how the fuck does that make me a pussy, it's not like real life were you can get all physically aggressive with people. i know your pride was hurt but just get over it.

now please stop talking to me because i am so utterly bored of you.

Nick, have you stopped smoking completely?

I responded to your points when i pmd you, thankfully you posted said response in the thread concerned so its all there in case anyone thinks im lying. The issue isnt about your opinions vs. mine, its personal, the thing that makes you a pussy is your unwillingness to argue with me in front of others and your wilingness to post a message i sent to you personally to buttress your point. You wanna disagree with me, fine, just stop being such a pointless div about it and just about everything else you post. Put me on ignore if its that hard for you.

Melvins are a pretty dead-end band. I like a bit of their stuff, I must say, but I hit a wall and need to move on to something else.

On the other hand, music judgment is a quixotic adventure. I really don't see the value in it. If the innate quality of shit is so self-evident within the band, why are there people who assert the contrary? They must, also, be shit people? Please, you sound like a goth.

i really don't get what the fuck you are talking about. and would wonder how you could explain the logic that i can be a pussy for being afraid to argue with you in front of others when that is exactly what i did. by your own logic you are the pussy for taking an arguement that was happening on the board and trying to continue it in private. your just bitching that i posted my reply in the thread so you couldn't just tell me to fuck off in a pm reply. what you are saying doesn't make any sense. i mean really, like this makes me a pussy, the only thing annoying is your assumption that it might upset me to be called a pussy. i really doubt anyone cares but as you say they can go have a look at the posts. it's too bad you weren't able to argue your point and had to start this pointless back and forth dick fight by resorting to name calling. i know in real life you can devolve into just calling people pussies when they challenge what you say but thats the key to staying ignorant forever.

but this is so tiresome and i can not be bothered, please, no more.

Do a possible service to future generations and massacre the Pixies instead.

Whenever I listen to the Melvins I think "but isn't this just Metallica - but shitter?" I can see the appeal. I can see the appeal of Metallica more. Not that I like Metallica. They just don't seem to hide their Metallica-ness behind anything other than a wall of Metallica.