The pro pitchfork movement
 

I keep hearing all these debates as to if we are or not entitled to carry pitchforks in the US. It is my right to protect myself in the Constitution. No one has a right to take my pitchfork! On the other hand would the world be alot safer if pitchforks were never invented. Statistics prove that more people and less hay are injured by pitchforks. We need to do something about the illegal pitchfork market. It should be way harder for farmers to purchase them. I mean they might have some disease that makes them crazy! Then what do you think they are gonna do?

they will take my pitchfork from my cold dead hands

pitchfork gave NYCG&F a 0.0 LULZ

FUCK. I thought this thread was about Pitchfork.

(maybe it is a metaphor)

pitchforks are heavy

haha me too, but the pitchfork issue is huge.

in the uk way less people are killed by pitchforks than in the us. we banned them yonks ago dontcha know?

you can still get hold of one if you need one though, all the hay dealers have 'em.

we just needed some humor roun here right gals!!!!

a pitchfork editor recently emailed me and said that ps...

Oh..

Um.

American Gothic.. uhh..

i wish i could carry my knife legally.

this one is in my car

and this one in my purse


i will not be taken alive

Pitchforks are ok as long as you only use them for tobacco and not any controlled substances. If you mention using them for controlled substances the seller cannot legally sell it to you.

You stole my joke! YOU STOLE MY JOKE!

Fucking hell Gail... I don't mean to be rude but I do think carrying knifes is a very foolish thing to do.

not when your a grl who is frequently in bad parts of town or empty buildigs full of horny creepy contractors. I have had a few encounters. I am not gonna be the grl to get raped in the bathroom. I will elaborate when I'm not on the bberry

carrying a quality knife with you is great. knives come in handy at many different times.

and as long as one is not playin the fool and whippin the blade out and braggin bout it at the bar, you should be just fine.

There must be better ways to defend yourself though? Carrying a knife is just calling for someone to get killed.

Cut tags off new clotesn resin scraper. Clean fingernails and so on

Yr not from the US South are you?

I would venture to guess that maybe 65% of the entire population of texas, in urban and rural areas, carries some sort of knife with them.

It Texas it is legal to carry any knife as long as

Summary: Folders under 5.5" OK.
Max length: 5.5"
Specifically illegal: Switchblade, throwing knives, daggers (in general), bowie knives, swords and spears.

No I'm from the UK... where knife crime is a huge problem!

:)

In UK it seems the problems are FISTS.

ban all FISTS!!!!

a knife is a nice tool, i carry a swiss army knife, but if you fear for your safety, why not pack a pistol?

get yourself glock 17-- it's light (the frame is a high-tech plastic), it's potent (9mm parabellum, which will blow back an attacker), it packs 17 rounds per magazine, and it never jams-- and it's actually MORE LEGAL than a concealed knife. there are legal limits on each state on the length of the blade you might have on you, so you might actually be breaking the law with your little weapon there, but you can get a conceal carry permit for your pistol.

besides, a gun will give you greater "command presence" than a knife-- in other words, you may not have to use it by just showing it properly. on the other hand a knife might invite somebody to take you on.

also, learning proper use of a handgun is easier than learning knife-fighting techniques-- i mean if you like martial arts, ok, but a knife requires you to be close to your attacker. fuck that. btw your tanto knife (purse) requires a different technique than the fish knife you carry in your car.

and guns beat knives. if you don't believe me, ask PEDRO NAVAJA

This is great news! I thought pitchforks were only for killing the walking dead!

Awesome thread, GAIL!

it started very funny, but then she said "i will not be taken alive", and i shuddered

Hahaha I know how to hold my ground. Just sayin I had a few creepy incidents. Ryan gavem to me and taught me exactly how to defend myself. Women are just prey in some places here.

pitchforks are ideal for loading dead babies onto flat-bed trucks

i thought i was the only one

hahahaha!!! Sometimes I forget how hilarious I can be!

When in doubt, you can always fall back to your looks *innocent whistling* :D

I still got it