Guidance for Job Interview Tomorrow
 

I have an interview tomorrow for a job I want quite badly, but I have never actually had a formal interview before. As the time approaches, I'm getting a bit neurotic about the little things:

- Should I paint my fingernails? Should the fingernails match the toenails?
- Glasses or no glasses?
- I can inconspicuously conceal all of my tattoos but the ones on my wrists. Do those really matter, or should I wear long sleeves (seems absurd in the summer)?
- Gum or no gum (I thought fresh minty breath would be a plus, but I fear chewing gum looks unprofessional)?
- Do I touch up my roots? I don't have tu-tone hair, but to the critical eye, it could use some freshening up.
- Is it poor manners to bring in a coffee?

Any other tips? I have no idea what people notice in ordinary circumstances, let alone a job interview.

I want to be a hermit that writes technical manuals from a cave.

paint a conservative color
glasses
fuck it...then again.... how terrifying are they? I'd rather not explain my voodoo.
no fucking way
yes
wait til they offer. easy on it before you go lest you jibber jabber

stupid interview questions seem to be the norm lately. ie: what's the worst joke you know? also be ready to list your "weaknesses" without sounding too weak.


sorry I type with my thumbs these days.

ps: I can get you a job in austin.

Very few places care about tattoos anymore in my experience.
They will see them eventually, and no one is shocked by ink on skin anymore.
I will say no coffee and no nail polish and no gum chewing, though.

I know about a million people with jobs and tattoos.
Professional type jobs, even.

I know someone who was expressly told that gum-chewing in an interview was what cost her the job when she ran into the interviewer socially some time later.

yeah tats are no big deal. more people here have them than don't. just don't roll up with them "on display".

muted, but well groomed will win the day. confidence rules all.

remember that you're the best person for the job and act like it.

I believe in you truncy.

Act beige.

also, follow up. although I already accepted a position, I was offered another by emailing the interviewer a bad joke (during the interview, I squarely informed her "I know no bad jokes").

All good advice, even some from nik.

In regards to the tattoos - I hold the same notion that they are becoming increasingly common. And the occupational area of the job for which I'm applying does not as a rule frown upon tattoos. It's not corporate drone, indistinguishable cubicles, public service, or anything of that ilk. That being said, I can act beige if required.

Also, the nail polish thing - I didn't mean as a fashion statement, I meant as a sign of attention to detail and a desire to make a good aesthetic first impression.

I've got the confidence thing covered, because I really am perfect for this job. Besides, I do have those super powers after all.

I'll take a job in Austin. This is a rather exciting time, because I've completely uprooted myself, so I have limitless options. I may be living off of pocket lint soon, but it will be a linty ADVENTURE!

make sure you look like one of those people that likes to say "Man i got so wasted on Saturday!", and keep mentioning your crazy and interesting lifestyle, but how since having a baby/girlfreind/insert other responsibility here youve got your life in perspective, and know when the time to have fun stops and the time to work begins. A collar slippage to reveal a tatoo at the right opportunity wont do any harm.

I tend to do well in job interviews when i do an imprersonation of someone with whom i wouldnt want to spend more than 5 minutes.

1 - Yes, for as long as pastel, warm colours is what you're using. Anything that gives away what your real personality really is like is a put-off for an interviewer.
- Yes, they at least reenforce the stereotype that people who wear them don't get involved into fights, thus giving the impression that you must not have a criminal record. Nevermind, they'll find out anyway.
- Hide all tatoos, unless you're applying as an extra in a pop video. Remember: you should come across as a human with a warm but machine-like attitude towards a professional enviroment. The fun comes when you have to hide your nazi-like attitude towards potential colleagues. Tatoos give away too much symbolism to a potential employer.
- Bringing in coffee is only allowed if your interviewer offers one from the refreshments provided by the company's canteen. External brands show the interviewer that you don't really care about the company.
Good luck.

Alternatively, shit on the floor and run away

why did the dinosaurs go extinct????

because they couldn't take a bath!!!!!

oh ho ho ho ho ////slitwrists


....thank me later.

I thought I was overanalyzing this and being neurotic. You are all proving me incorrect, especially you, Genteel Death, and confirming that they will indeed be dissecting my every fiber.

Fuck you all.

Both invaluable.

Clear nail polish is generally the one recommended most in these situations.

where do you see yourself in 5 years?
tell me about a problem you had and how you fixed it.
tell me about a problem you couldn't fix.
do you like kitties or puppies? why?
why don't you lay down on my couch???

all possible. be over prepared.

good luck on yer interview. Remember to brush your teeth.

When they ask you how you'd mop a floor, make sure you take your earrings off, or you risk losing them as well as missing the chance to be employed.

Not really, but then again I am totally uninterested in working a square job where such things would make any difference.

that's a Facebook problem.

I stand by everything I say.

lol

I'm not "in the position to pick and choose."

I have no marketable professional skills. I am a manual laborer mostly. Fortunately I like it.

like a boss.

stay on benefits
Fuck the taxpayer, he's always been a cunt to me

that's exactly how i feel

thats basically the best thing ever.

True, but not at the job interview stage. They'll immediately decide to go with someone less impulsive and more reliable. Same with gum and possibly even the nail polish. [semi personal info ]I work in a very conservative environment and wore a suit to my interview, combed my hair real nice and all that shit, yet I have lots of visible tattoos, wear JEANS (OMG SHOCKING), have hipster long hair and a hipster beard...... now after 4 years there I show up sweaty from biking in my shorts and no one gives a cats whiskers because they know I'm competent and can do my job, but for that first year while still on union probation? Well you better believe I played nice....... And I had to interview in front of a panel of people, 5 I believe including a doctor and upper upper upper management....... not fun[/semi personal info]

It only takes them what, about 5 seconds to decide yes or no in their mind, usually before you've spoken a word (or was that seeing the resume? I forget now) so don't take any chances, we are still in a recession no matter what 'merica says about it.........

the slobby idiot who just quit wore jeans, a tshirt for an automotive repair shop and.....flip flops (every day).

I always wear a shirt and tie---even on 'casual days'. like a boss.

I don't dress up for work, only for interviews...... :p

I've found the whole interview process has evolved into a kind of humiliating pantomime.

I want a job interview. NOTHING is coming up

Dapper

I say fuck em, go in shit faced, disheveled, and ornery ;)

The advice really depends what kind of job you're applying for and what they're looking for. I know plenty of companies that won't hire people if they dress too conservative and have no tattoos. But the coffee is an obvious one.

was that not sound, universal job seeking advice?

I once had to interview some people and write a report. I did and recommended they'd hire the GOOD one. They wanted the young and cute and dumb one instead.

truncated, I wouldn't worry about the tattoos and feel it's likely that you should wear the glasses. Do touch-up your roots and of course don't chew gum. The toe/fingernails thing seems completely indicative of a lot of unneccesary worry. Coffee seems to me to be up to you. Unfortunately, many of these interview processes, like much in our culture where undue scrutiny takes place, are strictly pageantry and the recruiters already have a fair idea of a type that they want beforehand, or, at worst, it's a side-door-gets-you-in deal instead of the front door and much depends on who you know. So try to take that in the positive aspect and realize that it's not at all worth working yourself up over.

On the whole, I can only relate my somewhat recent experience and perhaps some of what follows may prove helpful to you.

I was one of some sixty applicants for my current job that I've held for the past three years.

Two interviews were required, and in retrospect, neither were particularly grueling, although I was so nervous during the first one that as soon as I was told there would be a second with a narrowed field of candidates, I went to a psychologist twice to help stave off what I felt would be my inevitable anxiety. I guess the main point here is to not let yourself become your own worst enemy.

The therapist employed a deep relaxation technique, starting with visualization of complete calm at the top of my head and continuing downward systematically to the tips of my toes as he intoned a hypnotizing voice. With my eyes closed at one point during the second session, I felt for several minutes as if I was lifted out of my body and rising to the ceiling of his office. We worked at coming up with a way other than deep breathing and counting to kickstart a calming effect directly preceding the interview and encourage the relaxation I had hopefully accumulated in sense memory during the appointments. I hit upon the idea during the second session to do some repetitive exercises to condition myself as to when the calm would take effect at precisely the moment that I sat down in the interviewee's chair.

I believe this helped more than anything and allowed me to project my positive attributes and present myself in the best light. At one point several months after being on the job, I was searching my e-mail program for something or another and stumbled across a message from my immediate boss to the owner boss in which the person being promoted whose job I was taking and my direct manager expressed that they liked a particular candidate best, but, fortunately for me, the owner expressed that he preferred to hire me.

I imagined beforehand, with some help researching on the net, what types of questions would be asked. I wrote out responses and also questions of my own in a notebook. I didn't utilize much of this rehearsal, but there were bits of phrases here and there that manifested, and all in all, it assisted in serving as a provision for certain guidepost touchstones along the way in the jumble of the event.

Good luck!

Or to summarise:

Never to worry...this marks no substantial return to these pages.