The sonic gossip story (Part II) "Sentences"
 

A sentence is a group of words beginning with a capital letter and ending with a full-stop.

Regrettably, however, standards of grammar have lowered somewhat in recent times.

Kim woke up on a glorious day and walked to the kitchen.

Logging into the Sonic Youth forum via the toaster's built-in computer, she decided that there should probably be a seperate section for games and quizzes.

Unfortunately, she found this was not so; and thus she was greatly troubled.

She started typing, and to her surprise, she smelled burning toast.

This troubled her even more; until she could take it no longer and stood up to check her built-in toasting unit in the bathroom.

The aroma of spilt strawberry-scented bubble bath filled the air.

A haze of grey-black smoke obscured Kim's sight as she groped blindly into the marble-tiled, now strawberry-scented bathroom.

This bad start to the day angered her greatly, for it was only yesterday that she had relaxed on the banks of the nearby river, sipping wine and enjoying freshly-made sandwiches with her good friend Keisha; how she longed to experience that care-free picnic again (this time without the ants and the smell wafting from the abbatoir, or indeed the blazing row - perhaps the pinic had not been as pleasant after all).

The lingering thoughts of Keisha and picnic ants quickly dissipated as she felt her feet step into something - something that reminded her very strangely of her friend Goo!

"How many times", she asked herself, "have I told that wretched kid to clear up after himself?"

Simulatneously, Thurston Moore, Kim's husband and long time cohort awoke to his wife glaring over some burned toast, this of course perturbed him and drove the six-foot seven inch giant to find his local bakery.

Unfortunately, he had damaged the bakery severely the night before while abusing it in wild improv baking session at a local dive.

Granted, his unfailing memory had no doubt recalled this to mind, still Thurston Moore thought to himself ''I'm in no mood for a sullen woman and incinerated toast.''

To delay the inevitable argument that always ensued after his improv baking sessions, Thurston decided to go to the local store to buy a can of pop and the Wall Street Journal.

Before he did this, however, he made a quick detour to the bathroom, just to see how Kim was doing; quietly, of course.

'Ding Dong'.

Upon reaching the bathroom he discovered a note written on the toilet paper which read:

"Arrgggggghh!!!" A blood-curdling, high-pitched scream broke the morning stillness like a crashing dove; Thurston quickly side-stepped out into the sunshine.

Haha... the great internet cook off :)

'Ding Dong' again.

The streets were quite this morning, not many souls roaming about, so here exits Thurston Moore, complete with note in hand.

The door unanswered, the visitor left, disappointed.

Hurridly, Thurston ran to catch this mysterious visitor, as he called out ''hey there'', the visitor continued to walk without answer, swinging his hands slightly and keeping his head down.

'Miserale old punk', thought Thuraston.

Alas, Thurston caught up with the miserable old punk, with a somewhat tired voice he said ''Yo, answewr me bitch!''

Steve Buscemi turned and looked big 'ol T with rage.

''Ah, shit Steve, hey man, what are you doing here?'' asked a bewildered Thurston.

Thinking it was vince vaughan come to attack him again, buscemi swung the bloody butchers knife he was holding and T's head.

"damn you,mark E. smith told me you've got something for me."

''Mark E. Smith, that grizzly old soul owes me $ 12, If anything He should be bringing something to me, fuck 'em, ya come with me Steve, I need some coffee and baked goods''

"Oh yeah", said Buscemi, checking his clothes for bloodstains, "I nearly forgot", and he handed over an invoice from MES for unpaid royalties on the "Four Tunna Brix" EP.

''Thanks Steve, by the way, why is Vince Vaughn after you, I mean that joker is ok in my book, but shit man, He's a tall drink of water.''

Steve grimaced, "Why did you have to bring that up? That Vaughn dude really needs to lighten up, dude."

'Me lighten up-uh, you must be kiddin'-uh', came a voice from beind

Thurston sniggers, "Actually that was me, dude, Jolie's got one hell of a- Shit, it's Mark!"

Thurston and Steve, both turning around at the same time, are surpised to see one Vince Vaughn wearing nothing but flip flops and speedo's.

Lol.

Suddenly the sky darkened, as if the atmosphere itself could sense the tension.