Weeeiirrd Emails..
 

I've been getting these weird poem/short story type emails. It's pretty strange. Here's a couple of them


I really dont understand. I even tried to email one of these dudes back before. I asked Is there any reason you keep sending me this stuff?
And I never got a reply..


I must admit, the passages are interesting

I like how the subject is "panties".

These are wonderful.

WHY ISN'T HE EMAILING ME?

From:"Louisa Stahl" <buissondrlr@heliantis.fr>
Subject: 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, what have we got here, Fishfloatthrough

They were all still wondering what to do next, when Lucy said, "Look! There's a robin, with such a red breast. It's the first bird I've seen here. I say!.I wonder can birds talk in Narnia? It almost looks as if it wanted to say something to us." Then she turned to the Robin and said, "Please, can you tell us where Tumnus the Faun has been taken to?" As she said this she took a step towards the bird. It at once flew away but only as far as to the next tree. There it perched and looked at them very hard as if it understood all they had been saying. Almost without noticing that they had done so, the four children went a step or two nearer to it. At this the Robin flew away again to the next tree and once more looked at them very hard. (You couldn't have found a robin with a redder chest or a brighter eye.)

My theory is that one crazy poet found my email some how and passed that shit out like halloween candy.
Hayden, send this crazy cat an email and maybe, just maybe you'll be lucky enough.

HAHAHAHA.

Look! There's a robin, with such a red breast.

Best thing I've read all night.

That is some awesome spam.

The first one sounds like something Lee would put into an hour-long noise and spoken word track.

I get spam like that at work...The first part usually has stock market tips, then the second part is a little excerpt from The Hobbit. Sometimes it has little nonsense stories like the one above.

a lot of those are actually used as start-offs for alternate reality games. i used to hang out on an arg forum, and some guy was emailed a bunch of passport photos and weird crap. my dorkiness aside, those are funny. i get a lot of nigerian lottery shit.

i usually get porn spam and chain mail...

I always told them that Viagra wasn't the way to go but they really never listened.

I've been getting these weird stock/investor tip alerts for awhile now. This has stock advice at the bottom that will not copy and paste, and I don't feel like doing a screenshot right now. It also came with a .gif attachment that I'm not going to open (even on a Mac).

Here's one from Ester Foster entitled "Breaking the limits":

haha, good idea

Thats a passage from the book "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe".

More:

Dearly Beloved

The inspiration to contact you is simply divine providence and I am making this proposition because i have to seek the partnership of a resource person to help me realize actualize my last wish on earth. I am Mrs. Maria Mutola from Holland. I am married to Dr.Harry Mutola a
Kenya who worked with a construction company in Asia for twenty Years before he died in the tsunami disasters, we were married but without any children. Since his death I decided not to remarry and presently I am 70 Years old. When my late husband was live he deposited the sum of $4.5M. (Nine Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars) with a Security
Company.

Presently this money is still with the Security Company and the management just Wrote me as the beneficiary to come forward to receive the money or rather Issue a letter of authorization to someone to receive it on my behalf if I cannot come over. I am presently in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment Cancer of the lungs in a hospital, I have since lost my ability To talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live. I want a person that is
trustworthy that will utilize 90% of this money to fund churches, orphanages and
widows around the world but in my name Mrs. Maria Mutola As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of this fund.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here in and Keep this contact confidential till such a time this funds get to your Custody. This is to ensure that nothing jeopardizes my last wish on Earth.
I await your urgent reply.

Remain Blessed



Maria Mutola
:confused:

I get like four of these a day. There's about 1000 in my junk mail folder.

Oh, interesting.
I also got one from some wise ass on ebay

Question from rick_7890
Activity with rick_7890 (last 90 days):
- I have bid on 1 items from rick_7890
Hello,

What is going on with my item? Have you shipp it? My paypal account show me that you have received the money .. If you dont contact me ASAP I will contact ebay and tell them that you screw me for 1500 !!!
Please e-mail me back ASAP !!!!

Regards,
Vickie

What a dipshit. Did you send it yet?

WHy don't I get cool emails...I always get junk saying I've been "Tagged!," or some bullshit from google.noreply.com or something, and it's always spanish. Fuck you, I don't understand what yr saying, junkmail.

I have noooo idea what he's talking about. I think he's making it out like Im supposed to be sending him something. BUT, I've never sold anything onebay in my life

It happens a lot, dude. Don't worry about it, I wouldn't even reply, but try reporting it to ebay. My friend got one of those not too long ago.

Yeah, Im not sweatin it

I won a million pounds!
Best way to start your wednesday morning. :)


The National Lottery
PO Box 1010
Liverpool L70 1NL United Kingdom.
Ref: XYL /26510460037/06
Batch: 24/00319/IPD

WINING NOTIFICATION:

We happily announce to you the draw (#1026) of the UK NATIONAL
LOTTERY,online Sweepstakes International program held on
09/01/2007.Your
e-mail
address attached to ticket number:56475600545188 with Ref number
5368/02 drew the lucky.


Draw 1118 Sat 06 Jan 07

Prize breakdown
Bonus Ball
Next est. jackpot
£1,000,000

which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category i.e match 5
plus bonus.You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of
£1,000,000 in cash credited to file XYL /26510460037/05.
This is from a total cash prize of
£1,000,000 shared amongst the (10) lucky winners in this category i.e
Match 5 plus bonus.
All participants for the online version were selected randomly from
World Wide Web sites through computer draw system and extracted from
over
100,000 unions,associatons and corporate bodies that are listed online.
This promotion takes place weekly.Please note that your lucky winning
number falls within our European booklet representative office in
Europe
as indicated in your play coupon. In view of this, your £1,000,000
would be released to you by any of our payment offices in Europe.
Our European agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate
the release of your funds as soon as you contact him.For security
reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential
till
your claims is processed and your money remitted to you in whatever
manner you deem fit to claim your prize. This is part of our
precautionary
measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program.

Please be warned.To file for your claim kindly fill this Verification
form below correctly and send it to the fiduciary department agent for
instant payment
Fiduciary Agent:


Mr Cornelius Henry,
Email: contactagentcornelius@yahoo.co.uk
phone number: +44 701 1136420
Bertron Hill Online Co-ordinator for U.K NATIONAL LOTTERY Sweepstakes
International
Program.
CLAIMS Processing Form
Ref Number:5368/02

TicketNumber:56475600545188

TicketNumber:56475600545188

Details Of Beneficiary
Name(Surname First):........................................... ...

Address:..............................

Country:...............................
Telephone:..............................

Gender:..............................

Marital Status:....................
Age:.....................................

Occupation:..........................

Annual Income:.....................
Email Address:.......................

Amount Won:£1,000,000(One Million Pounds Sterlings)

prefered Method Of
Payment:.......................................... ....

I got a similar one today! It said I won the UK lottery... HAHAHA

Wow, I also won a million pounds the pther day. PLUS, the wife of a murdered Iraqi diplomat wants to give me a load of money AND so does an auditing and account manager from Ghana Commerical Bank.

Seriously though, I never usually get these kind of emails but have got a lot recently and there appears to be a lot of forum spam around, not just on this forum either. It's a sign of the coming apocalypse I'm telling you...2012 maaaan, 2012.

He wants to send me money too! I feel so lucky... if anyone else wants money, his email and phone number are listed below.




From:"peter olololo" <peterolololo@hotmail.com>
Subject: CONTACT ME URGENTLY Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2007 23:36:48 +0000

HEAD OFFICE :

FROM THE FOREIGN OPERATION MANAGER:
INTERNATIONAL COMMERCIAL BANK GHANA
MAKOLA SHOPPING MAIL P.O. BOX 421 ACCRA GHANA



GREETINGS

MY NAME IS DR PETER OLOLOLO THE MANAGER,CREDIT AND FOREIGN BILLS OF
INTERNATIONAL
COMMERCIAL BANK OF GHANA WEST AFRICA.

AM WRITTING IN RESPECT OF A FOREIGN CUSTOMER OF OUR BANK WITH ACCOUNT
NUMBER
908-14-255-144 AN AMERICA CITIZEN WHO DIED IN PLANE CRASH (KOREAN AIR
FLIGHT 801) WITH WHOLE PASSENGER ONBOARDON AUGUST 6,1997. AND FOR YOUR
PERSUAL YOU CAN VIEW THIS WEBSITE.

Ref: http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list

SINCE THE DEATH OF THIS CUSTOMER, I PERSONALLY I HAVE WATCH WITH KIND
INTEREST TO SEE THE NEXT OF KIN BUT ALL HAS PROVE ABORTIVE AS NO ONE
HAS
COME TO CLAIM HIS FUND OF $11.5M(ELEVEN MILLION FIVE HUNDREDED
THOUSAND U.S
DOLLAR)ONLY.WHICH HAS BEEN WITH OUR BRANCH FOR A VERY LONG TIME.ON THIS
NOTE,I DECIDED TO SEEK FOR WHOM HIS NAME WILL BE USE AS THE NEXT OF KIN
AS
NO ONE COME UP AS HIS NEXT OF KIN.

THE BANKING RULES HERE DOES NOT ALLOW SUCH MONEY TO STAY MORE THAN TEN
YEARS, BECAUSE THE MONEY WILL BE RECALL TO THE BANK TREASURY AS
UNCLAIMED
FUND AFTER THIS PERIOD.

IN VIEW OF THIS I GOT YOUR CONTACT THROUGH A TRADE JOURNAL WHEN I WAS
MAKING
A RESEARCH ON A FOREIGNER I WILL USE IN THIS THIS GREAT OPPORTUNITY,FOR
YOUR
ASSISTANT I AM WILLING TO GIVE TWENTY PERCENT 20% OF THE TOTAL SUM.UPON
THE
RECEIPT OF YOUR RESPONSE,I WILL SEND YOU BY FAX OR EMAIL THE LETTER OF
APPLICATION WHICH YOU WILL FILL AND SIGN AND SEND BACK TO ME TO HELP
YOU
SUBMITE TO OUR BANK FOR THE PROCESSING OF THE FUND.

I WILL NOT FAIL TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT THIS BUSINESS IS HITCH
FREE AND
THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY ATOM OF FEAR AS ALL MODALITIES FOR
THE
SMOOTH AND FAIR OF THE EASY TRANSFER OF THIS FUND HAS BEEN FINALIZED BY
ME
HERE.

THIS TRANSACTION WILL BE COMPLETED WITHIN (7) SEVEN WORKING DAYS OF
RECIEVING YOUR FULL RESPONSE,AFTER YOU HAVE APPLY AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO
THE
DECEASE CUSTOMER.

WHEN YOU RECIEVE THIS MAIL KINDLY REPLY TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS AND
ALSO
CALL ME 00233 24 225 55 27 (dankwaolololo@yahoo.com) PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR
PRIVATE
TELE/FAX NUMBER FOR QUICK COMMUNICATION BETWEEN ME AND YOU.

YOURS SINCERELY
DR PETER OLOLOLO
MANAGER
HEAD OFFICE :

FROM THE FOREIGN OPERATION MANAGER:
INTERNATIONAL COMMERCIAL BANK GHANA
MAKOLA SHOPPING MAIL P.O. BOX 421 ACCRA GHANA



GREETINGS

MY NAME IS DR PETER OLOLOLO THE MANAGER,CREDIT AND FOREIGN BILLS OF
INTERNATIONAL
COMMERCIAL BANK OF GHANA WEST AFRICA.

AM WRITTING IN RESPECT OF A FOREIGN CUSTOMER OF OUR BANK WITH ACCOUNT
NUMBER
908-14-255-144 AN AMERICA CITIZEN WHO DIED IN PLANE CRASH (KOREAN AIR
FLIGHT 801) WITH WHOLE PASSENGER ONBOARDON AUGUST 6,1997. AND FOR YOUR
PERSUAL YOU CAN VIEW THIS WEBSITE.

Ref: http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list

SINCE THE DEATH OF THIS CUSTOMER, I PERSONALLY I HAVE WATCH WITH KIND
INTEREST TO SEE THE NEXT OF KIN BUT ALL HAS PROVE ABORTIVE AS NO ONE
HAS
COME TO CLAIM HIS FUND OF $11.5M(ELEVEN MILLION FIVE HUNDREDED
THOUSAND U.S
DOLLAR)ONLY.WHICH HAS BEEN WITH OUR BRANCH FOR A VERY LONG TIME.ON THIS
NOTE,I DECIDED TO SEEK FOR WHOM HIS NAME WILL BE USE AS THE NEXT OF KIN
AS
NO ONE COME UP AS HIS NEXT OF KIN.

THE BANKING RULES HERE DOES NOT ALLOW SUCH MONEY TO STAY MORE THAN TEN
YEARS, BECAUSE THE MONEY WILL BE RECALL TO THE BANK TREASURY AS
UNCLAIMED
FUND AFTER THIS PERIOD.

IN VIEW OF THIS I GOT YOUR CONTACT THROUGH A TRADE JOURNAL WHEN I WAS
MAKING
A RESEARCH ON A FOREIGNER I WILL USE IN THIS THIS GREAT OPPORTUNITY,FOR
YOUR
ASSISTANT I AM WILLING TO GIVE TWENTY PERCENT 20% OF THE TOTAL SUM.UPON
THE
RECEIPT OF YOUR RESPONSE,I WILL SEND YOU BY FAX OR EMAIL THE LETTER OF
APPLICATION WHICH YOU WILL FILL AND SIGN AND SEND BACK TO ME TO HELP
YOU
SUBMITE TO OUR BANK FOR THE PROCESSING OF THE FUND.

I WILL NOT FAIL TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT THIS BUSINESS IS HITCH
FREE AND
THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY ATOM OF FEAR AS ALL MODALITIES FOR
THE
SMOOTH AND FAIR OF THE EASY TRANSFER OF THIS FUND HAS BEEN FINALIZED BY
ME
HERE.

THIS TRANSACTION WILL BE COMPLETED WITHIN (7) SEVEN WORKING DAYS OF
RECIEVING YOUR FULL RESPONSE,AFTER YOU HAVE APPLY AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO
THE
DECEASE CUSTOMER.

WHEN YOU RECIEVE THIS MAIL KINDLY REPLY TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS AND
ALSO
CALL ME 00233 24 225 55 27 (dankwaolololo@yahoo.com) PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR
PRIVATE
TELE/FAX NUMBER FOR QUICK COMMUNICATION BETWEEN ME AND YOU.

YOURS SINCERELY
DR PETER OLOLOLO
MANAGER

...YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY ATOM OF FEAR....

I like that bit, for some reason.

ooohhhh, I see what you mean. They actually think they can hoax people that way? That's low.

It came with a penis enlargement advert.
He peered at the card closely, sneered, bent it in half and bent it ag I pushed the bell. It rang somewhere near by but nothing happened. I r I gave him a shady leer. "You're so right," I agreed. "Let's get toget "I'm not saying you know all you want to know," I answered. "The point
"Yeah," I said. "We're both stupid. Anybody's stupid that bothers with "Working the way you do," I said, "you must be. You have to keep your "Unhuh. Only he didn't get the letter because he had moved and he didn
I left the room unlocked because I had no way to lock it. "No he hasn't," she said tightly. "He has a little scar on his left ha She set her mouth stubbornly. "No, Mr. Marlowe. They couldn't scare Or "If you keep on with that you won't be in any condition to listen to w
"Goodness, I didn't know there were any." Pause. "But I don't think a He bent over the dead man and studied the ice pick. I hung up. I got the bottle of Old Forester out. There was nothing slo I stepped away from the finger and watched his eyes.
"Shut up," she said, between teeth so tight they grated. "Shut up, you The smile flashed like lightning and changed her whole face. The body The dark lady in the jodhpurs handed me a glass and perched on the arm The hammer of the automatic clicked dryly on nothing. Alfred lowered t
"Like to get a line on one of the customers," I said. I leaned across the desk and dropped some cigarette ash on his gun. I "4P 327," I said, watching his eyes. Nothing flicked in them. No trace I didn't answer. I just kept going. When I had the door ready to open
The phone rang before I had quite started to worry about Mr. Lester B. His hand came out to it with the beautiful anxiety of a mother welcomi "If it's that delicate," I said, "maybe you need a lady detective." "You don't need that," I said. "The door isn't locked."

I would think it is more likely that a person fraudulently selling on ebay took the email address and past it on as his own.

I don't get any

not even stuff like this?



This is the omly way I could contact you for now,I want you to be very
careful about this and keep this secret with you until I make out
space
for us to see. You have no need of knowing who I am or where I am
from.I know this may sound very surprising to you but it's the
situation.I
have been paid some ransom in advance to terminate you with some
reasons
listed to me by my employer.It's someone I beleive you call a friend,
I have followed you closely for a while now and have seen that you are
innocent of the accusations he leveled against you.Do not contact the
police or try to send a copy of this to them,because if you do, I will
know,and I might be pushed to do what I have been paid to do.Besides,
this is
the ist time I turn out to be a betrayer in my job.I took pity on
you,that is why I have made up my mind to help you if you are willing
to
help yourself.

Now listen,I will arrange for us to see face to face,but before that, I
need $8000. I will come to your home or you determine where you wish
we meet;I repeat, do not arrange for the cops and if you play hard to
get, it will be extended to your family.Do not set any camera to cover
us
or set up any tape to record our conversation, my employer is in my
control now. Payment details will be provided for you to make a part
payment of $4000 first,which will serve as gurantee that you are ready
to you
co-orperate,then one of my boys will deliver a copy of the video tape
to
that contains his request for me to terminate you(I tape recorded our
conversation),which will be enough evidence for you to take any legal
action against him before he employs another person for the job. You
will pay the balance of $4000 once you receive the tape.

Warning; do not contact the police, make sure you stay indoors once it
is 7.30pm until this whole thing is sorted out,if you neglect any of
these warnimgs, you will have yourself to blame. You do not have much
time,
so get back to me immediately

Note:I will advise you keep this to yourself alone, not even a friend
or a family member should know about it because it could be one of
them.

Good Luck.

That's awesome. I never got one as weird as that, but I have to confirm 30 loans that apparently I have applied for, which is a bit odd since I don't need the money because I have won the lottery 25 times already.

honestly, no stuff like that.. good filters probably

Did anyone ever get any of those emails where they invite you as a vip guest to some bling party? Those are some of my favourite to read.

when we met that night, I told you not to tell anybody.

you're lucky that you already paid me the money or I might start having second thoughts about my generosity.

loose lips sink ships.

Love,


The Cleaner

Hi
It`s maureen again. Will you ever contact me?
I made those nude pictures especially for you and I wont write to you
again!
If you wanna see them just drop me a line at:
bmaureen4@freemailwap.info

I would give my left arm for a last name like OLOLOLO.

lawl.

Ave, gentleman

Again, it is such a lonely day, so long and boring, and I can do nothing but dream of my soul mate and imagine how passionate and emotional we could be together.
Try to imagine that it is a romantic evening, soft music is playing on the background, and your voice (a charming music!) so soft and kind speaks words of love to me… Do you want to come to me tomorrow in the evening? Or maybe you will guess my dream and will wish to stay forever! I can't live without you and I am ready to run to you, to break any social appropriations, to forget about everything, because I want to fall in love with you!
I want to close my eyes and remember yours, I dream to sit by the window and remember a touch of your hand, a touch of your cheek, a touch of your lips… I want to have this romantics in my life and. I know that I deserve to be happy. I am waiting at http://loveisaclick.com/romanceyou for your romantic words and I will be happy if your road of destiny will intersect with mine.
Sincerely
Deizy A.

I had to put this guy's emails through the IT department 'cause the ones I've received before this one seemed all genuine:

Dear ---------,

Thanks for your reply and assistance so far and we will book for the
dinner. I will make a payment deposit of 6,000 GBP which will cover their
meals and drinks in advance because we are not sure of what your guests
might like to drink or how much they are likely to consume.

Moreover, we were able to make an arrangement with a pre-paid car
hiring agent who will supply the guests with vehicles that will be used by
the guests to and fro your place. So inorder not to share my credit
card information with a third party, I have decided that only you will
have to handle my credit card information. Moreso, the prepaid agent is
not yet a credit card merchant therefore cannot charge credit cards. On
my own side, I would have sent him his money directly, but am on the
high sea work on an OIL RIG. There are no bank or western union here
where I can make payment directly to the agent.

So once you are in receipt of my credit card details,you are required
to charge the total amount of 6,000 GBP + processing fees on my card,then
deduct 2000 GBP as initial payment deposit for the dinner(meals and drinks)
and send the balance of 4000 GBP to the prepaid car hire agent whose
information I will forward to you once this is confirmed.

Confirm this and provide me with your (1) YOUR FULL NAME (2) FULL
ADDRESS (3) PHONE NUMBERS for office record.

All checks and balances shall be done with the group leader on the
final day of their dinner.

Please be advised that we shall pay for all expenses and fees incurred
as a result of the entire amount to be charged.

Sorry for the late revert as i had some issues with internet.

Regard,
Mr Collin Small.
7 Festival Square
EH3 9SU
Edinburgh
+447031832502


Apparently they are a busy bunch:http://www.pillowsandpancakes.com/sw/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=484&sid=919fd8d7a7e9d16fe2355e5608 da07cf