I Am a Mess and Need Real Psych Help!!!
 

I started to get depressed an hour ago. And started crying. God I feel stupid, saying this.

damn, man, it's strange, but I know how you feel. Just hang in there, get some sleep, get some fresh air - things will get britghter.

You can send me PM anytime you want, if you need and advice or just to chat or anything.

There's nothing stupid about depression. Is this something that's happened before? Has something led up to it, or has it come from out of nowhere?

I have been dealing with depression since high school. But it has been getting worse, as of late. I have never been to a psych or had any type of help. I've been self-healing in my writing, but that doesn't even do it anymore.

just calm down and go and lay down with some calming music for a while. it may be that your just feeling bad momentarily and it may pass. if it persists then find someone to talk about things with and seek cognitive therapy and avoid drugs.

Probably the best piece of advice anyone will ever give you.

what's a cognitive therapy?

In short, it's about retraining the mind to think positively, and dealing with depression through an improved self-image.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cogniti...vioral_therapy

I just have so much pressure to succeed, to not fail in life(which I feel I will). I don't feel I am smart, but in reality I am. I feel I need to be out of this state, but I need college for that. Which leads to the pressure to succeed. It feels like I am going in circles.

Is that pressure coming from yourself or from family?

Both.

In all likelihood the pressure that you put on yourself is a result of pressure that you feel that your family are putting you under. If you talked to them about your ambitions and their expectations of you, you may well find that what you think they expect of you and what they actually do hope for for you are miles apart.

Parents who think their children are failures for not fulfilling their expectations are few and far between, and are crap parents anyway.

I have no idea what makes me happy anymore. I just keep telling myself, that what I am doing is making me happy. But the closest is photography, and writing.

I also feel they don't know me. No one knows I am gay, and I feel I can't tell them cause they are not really open minded when it comes to homosexuality.

sarramkrop-I am good with my boyfriend. We are at two different stages, he is ready to settle and all that crap, and I am just starting my life.

Nefeli-22

I am getting there looking at it as my sexuality and nothing else.
I've told only closest friends, but that is it. What I mean no one in my family knows.

an hour ago? i started to get depressed 20 years ago.

whoa, hm...

rrrrr....

see i don't wanna give you a quick answer. i used to be depressed really really bad and i'm not anymore.

i know what works, but you know what? i'd rather not discuss much of it in an open thread, as it might invite mockery and silliness and distractions.

in the meantime however, a couple of things:

1) stop eating mac crap. i'm serious. watch "supersize me" if you don't believe your diet can fuck you up. sugar, trans fats, lack of fiber, lack of vitamins, can make you feel awful. yeah, you were going to macdonalds the other day! (eeeeewwwwwwwwww)

2) get enough sleep. if you don't sleep enough to repair your brain & body & process the events of the day you're going to be feeling like shit, confused, depressed, anxious. make sleep a serious ritual.

3) get some daily exercise. you don't have to go lift weights and shit like that. 1/2 hour of daily walking is enough to start. as long as it's regular. of course there are all kinds of sports & exercise programs but if you're truly depressed you won't continue. so just try to build some kind of small routine n your day.

4) get outside everyday & catch some fresh air and sunlight. even prisoners get that right. being indoors all day will fuck you up. sunlight helps raise your serotonin levels. 15 minutes a day is enough, you dont have to tan like a pig in the sun. obviously this means don't wear sunglasses.

5) drink plenty of water. i drink bottled water because i don't like chlorine. oh i drink filtered tap water too. but drink plenty because that helps your body flush toxins and fight disease & keep all your pipes in good order.

ok so hm that's the first part, taking care of your body, you know, it's not a mop rag, it's not a machine.

then you have to deal with the shitty thoughts that make you depressed and for that yes cognitive therapy is the way to go.

but a warning: you have to get worse before you get better. when you start unburying all the bad memories and all the terrible shit that programmed you into hating yourself and being depressed, you're going to get MORE depressed & terrified. it's ok, it's normal. once you learn to accept that & deal you'll start to get better. but it's a bumpy ride.

anyway, at least yOU KNOW you're depressed and you wanna do something about it, so that's a good start.

I think you've mentioned this before, Sy, and I hate to sound redundant, but as I've said before, depression is nothing to mess around with. Forget self-medicating, and go see your physician. It's often medically based, and a simple prescription will help. Or your physician might refer you to a psychiatrist or other professional. But PLEASE don't try to handle this by yourself.

You wouldn't try home remedies for appendicitis, or if you were dying of cancer. This is just as serious, and shouldn't be trusted to homespun remedies you read about in an Internet forum, no matter how well intentioned they may be.

See a doctor soon.

http://www.samaritans.org/

Links are there for organisations outside the UK. But it really helped me recently.
If its any consolation im off later to meet a gal who has severely fucked me up and over. Im trying to pass the time and also think of the best "Fuck you baby" comments i can muster.