Eat Me Keep Me
 

I was in Tescos today, and wanted to buy some bananas, and all they had were these fuckin stupid things labelled "Eat Me Keep Me", I was so deeply disturbed by this. What is this, fuckin talking fruit? I felt so patronised that Tescos had decided to make a bag of bananas talk to me, telling me when it was ok to eat a fuckin banana.



What the hell has happened to the world?

Hahahhaha!!!

wouldn't you like to adopt a malawian banana?

Oh my. Eat them or keep them? That decision could crack a man's soul? Do they realise this?! Tescos, you reprehensible cunts.

"Eat me keep me" - sounds sexy, doesn't it?

I hope you bought the reduced ones at the back. You'd save 37p.

dude! that's brilliant!

you have some to eat now and the green ones will be ripe when you get to them!

Do they sell "catch me, do me" shoes, too?

Well, in the part of South london I live, you really wouldn't want to be saying that kind of thing, unless you have a thing for young gangster girls!

I do.

You should be careful, they might pop a cap in your ass.

In my ass? I'm feeling kind of turned on right now.

Okay, y'all... I'm out of here for a while. A bolt of lightning zapped my cable system last night. Phone service and the 'net are out (though oddly enough we still get cable). I've been working at a friend's place today (they have a pool in the back yard and there's beer in the fridge but I have been DISCIPLINED!)

With any luck the cable guy will show up on time tomorrow.

Peace out...

you obviously never experienced instestinal constipation.

Or fruit flies.