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-   -   What do you want in a significant other/spouse? (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=2331)

SpectralJulianIsNotDead 05.29.2006 12:09 AM

What do you want in a significant other/spouse?
 
Feeling kind of philosophical tonight.

What do you want in a significant other?

Here is what I want in a woman:

1. I want to be on the same wavelength as her. You know the feeling you get when you start playing something on an instrument and the other musicians reacts to it perfectly and you can do the same for them? I want that in an emotional relationship.

2. She has to love rock and roll and want to dance with me to my records. Just no hippie shaking. I hate that shit.

3. Similar or compatible religious/philosophical views. I think it would be really hard to live with someone who thinks you are "wrong" about some very important things. A compatible religious view would be like Bahai or a lot of Indian relgions (a lot of Indian religions don't necessarily believe that other religions are wrong.)

4. Wants to get married, have children, and nurse them until they are weened.

5. She doesn't have to cook or anything. I'd do that. Although it would be nice if she would help with big dinners

I think I could live a pretty happy life with a woman like that.

Some other things that would be nice: if she played bass, sang,
and wanted me to stay home cook, clean, and take of children.

I don't really know how I'd keep my hands off a woman like that, especially with number 1 and number 2.

Alex's Trip 05.29.2006 12:11 AM

That is a pretty vague description...I mean we could all answer the same thing, but have completely different ideal spouses.

I don't want to get married as of now.

schizophrenicroom 05.29.2006 12:15 AM

1. has to be on the same wavelength.
2. same/similar belief system (i'm not very religious)
3. same interests (movies, books. although liking the total opposite of stuff i do and introducing me to new things is always cool.)
4. it'd be nice if he liked sleeping in, as waking up early to get to school kills me and i love me some weekend sleep.
5. has to want kids.
6. it'd be nice if he could cook.
7. has to have a sense of humour somewhat similar to me
8. getting along with my family is a plus
9. is a risk-taker
10. i like running late at night and long drives. if he likes this then i like him.

SpectralJulianIsNotDead 05.29.2006 12:15 AM

I guess, maybe I should be more specific.

I won't marry a girl that does not like any of the following bands/artists:
JAMC
SY
MBV
Pixies
Gang of Four
WIRE
David Bowie
T. Rex

I guess a girl that could take my family would be a plus too, like Schizo says.

acousticrock87 05.29.2006 01:24 AM

The main thing is really pretty indescribable. There obviously has to be that initial connection that no one fully understands. Making it last is a matter of compromising the right things and accepting what needs to be accepted. I don't have a "type". I could see myself just as easily with a rebellious girl or with a nice girl. I don't care what music she listens to as long as we don't drive eachother crazy with it (and I have pretty open tastes, so that's easy). That's not where I think people fall in love. Though I think she does need to have similar religious beliefs. That's a really dangerous and volatile area.

h8kurdt 05.29.2006 04:22 AM

Must give me a whole lotta loving
Must like Pink Floyd and Sonic Youth

Other than that I aint fussy.

alyasa 05.29.2006 05:10 AM

I want a girl I'm madly in love with...

SpectralJulianIsNotDead 05.29.2006 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by acousticrock87
The main thing is really pretty indescribable. There obviously has to be that initial connection that no one fully understands. Making it last is a matter of compromising the right things and accepting what needs to be accepted. I don't have a "type". I could see myself just as easily with a rebellious girl or with a nice girl. I don't care what music she listens to as long as we don't drive eachother crazy with it (and I have pretty open tastes, so that's easy). That's not where I think people fall in love. Though I think she does need to have similar religious beliefs. That's a really dangerous and volatile area.


I think I could easily drive a normal girl insane with my musical taste. Most people would think I'm crazy for listening to stuff like JAMC.

Everyone has a type. If I meet a girl and I don't think I'd date her, she isn't my type. I don't know what my type is, but I know what my type isn't.

As far as nice girl/rebel girl, I don't know about anyone else- but when a girl seems very very proper and nice, I just can't see myself dating her. The same with a girl that seems the complete opposite. I'd feel with the nice girl that I am polluting her niceness and really changing who she is. With the more rebellious girl, I'd feel she was doing that to me. So I'd like to find a girl that is about where I am.

Glice 05.29.2006 09:53 AM

A lot of you want a partner who reflect yourself back at you. To be honest, I can't stand going out with girls who are like me.

I want someone whose company I enjoy and someone I don't agree with all the time. I want someone who enjoys screaming arguments and bum love. I would prefer that she be east asian, but that's not really essential.

porkmarras 05.29.2006 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice
A lot of you want a partner who reflect yourself back at you. To be honest, I can't stand going out with girls who are like me.

I want someone whose company I enjoy and someone I don't agree with all the time. I want someone who enjoys screaming arguments and bum love. I would prefer that she be east asian, but that's not really essential.

Are you talking about me?

Glice 05.29.2006 09:57 AM

Depends. I think it's better to give than to receive...

SpectralJulianIsNotDead 05.29.2006 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice
A lot of you want a partner who reflect yourself back at you. To be honest, I can't stand going out with girls who are like me.

I want someone whose company I enjoy and someone I don't agree with all the time. I want someone who enjoys screaming arguments and bum love. I would prefer that she be east asian, but that's not really essential.


Yeah, I want to marry my own personality in female form.

truncated 05.29.2006 10:08 AM

I concur with Glice on all of points with the exception of the east Asian bit. For some reason I suspect he's got a 'smooth schoolgirl' preference, which I can't say I share. Although I do like me some smooth follicles.

One essential: a guy has to be down with personal space. When all the lovin's done, I still need my alone time.

Toilet & Bowels 05.29.2006 10:32 AM

i want a chick who is hot, humourous, logical, will organize my life for me, has an appreciation for nasty music and will let me do her up the arse. i like dark, southern european or middle eastern looking girls most.

_slavo_ 05.29.2006 10:36 AM

I want a girl
that's nice to me
that's tolerant
and has no evil spirits in her heart (i fucking hate mean people)

physically I have to preference.

SpectralJulianIsNotDead 05.29.2006 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truncated
I concur with Glice on all of points with the exception of the east Asian bit. For some reason I suspect he's got a 'smooth schoolgirl' preference, which I can't say I share. Although I do like me some smooth follicles.

One essential: a guy has to be down with personal space. When all the lovin's done, I still need my alone time.


No cuddling Truncated?

truncated 05.29.2006 12:01 PM

In all seriousness, I'm not opposed to cuddling. I just need my bubble.

I'm not of the school that thinks once you're in a relationship, you do EVERYTHING together. You've got to have separate spheres to an extent, or you begin to wear on each other. It's a bad sign when the two of you meld into one person, and people start calling you by a combination of both your names.

The loss of personal identity is the downfall of all relationships.

SpectralJulianIsNotDead 05.29.2006 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truncated
In all seriousness, I'm not opposed to cuddling. I just need my bubble.

I'm not of the school that thinks once you're in a relationship, you do EVERYTHING together. You've got to have separate spheres to an extent, or you begin to wear on each other. It's a bad sign when the two of you meld into one person, and people start calling you by a combination of both your names.

The loss of personal identity is the downfall of all relationships.


Sounds about right.

truncated 05.29.2006 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead
Of course. I've been waiting for truncated to clarify this topic with her omniscient observations.


Fuckin' A.

porkmarras 05.29.2006 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truncated
In all seriousness, I'm not opposed to cuddling. I just need my bubble.

I'm not of the school that thinks once you're in a relationship, you do EVERYTHING together. You've got to have separate spheres to an extent, or you begin to wear on each other. It's a bad sign when the two of you meld into one person, and people start calling you by a combination of both your names.

The loss of personal identity is the downfall of all relationships.

Actually i totally agree with that.I'm not and i will never be the sort of guy who wants to spend 24 hours together with the same person.There is no joy in that.


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