I want to be Perez Hilton's boyfriend.
 

He's got money right? I could do it.

The only problem is I may have more skeletons and failed drug tests than any of the people he writes about on his website.

do it. i'd rep you for sure

Perez Hiltom may be good for one shag, but personally, I'd headbutt him after 2 hours in his presence. However, if he was paying the bills..........let's call it 3 hours.

I think he's so ridiculously gay it's cute. May be his one saving grace for him. I'm out of his league. I wouldn't even have to try.

I'm WAY too ugly for him, for sure - you could bribe him on his own skeletons (of which there must be plenty!)

It'd be fun to be in the tabloids.

"Paris Hilton's boyfriend seen smoking crack on video"

I'd be famous for no reason other than my blowjob giving skills.

blow job skills have been known to get you smart cars.

I should have a lot of smart cars, then.

maybe you're blowing the wrong people.

I want to have spend a whole night of hot monkey sex with Sarah Palin.

Yew kent always git wachoo wa-ahnt...

More than likely. My new boyfriend pays for me to eat in fancy restaurants and gives me money. It's sweet.

How does one go about getting a boyfriend who gives out money like that? Do you have to be gay first? Or could I pretend?

You have to be gay as far as I know. I've never encountered your problem, though. I met him in treatment and it was a really expensive facility.

Maybe I should concentrate on a rich addicted girlfriend then.

Could be a better possibility.

Yes, I don't think I could fake even a man kiss. Hug, yes. Kiss, no.

the american dream

He's ugly in person I've seen him at the bars i frequent.

Blow jobs are the oldest trick in the book for quick pocket money. Hat off to you.

I'm pretty sure that MTV is running a reality contestant show for this right now.