Corporate Buzzwords
 

God, I hate 'em. I don't work for any type of corporation so I don't hear them too often. In fact I don't think I've ever heard the seemingly two biggest culprits here, "proactive" and "synergize." Still, lately I have seen the phrase "internal customers" in emails too many times here. Of course, they are just referring the the sales people up front. My CO-WORKERS.

They are not customers. If they were a customer, then I would have to fear losing their buisness. I will never have to fear that a sales rep would no longer ship through us because WE ARE THE SHIPPING DEPARTMENT.

We all work for the same company and we all have the same goal: sell this crap, and then get it out the door.

Sounds like CO-WORKERS to me.

Solutionise; operationalise; action; 'actionalise'.

The one that most got my goat ever was an e-mail from the chap sat not 5 foot away from me referring to 'resources moving' when what he meant was a few people were to move desks. Most of the time office jargon is a case of inarticulacy - this was an instance of treating his colleagues as disposable resources. Of course, we were, but what an absolute cunt of a thing to say to people sat next to you.

... analise.

I am in Finance, of a sort. We regularly happen upon references to compound bow interest and fiscal quarterstaves. We respond to marketplace strategies and reallocate our 401(k)naves. We often worry about security breeches and guerrilla conflicts of interest when other companies give us peasants. I have to make sure I dot my "i"s and cross my bows!

you, good sir, are very skilled at what you do.

in fact, I'm humbled by it.

copypasta4you:

Lytil Jhon and Robyne Hude
Wayth-men ware commendyd gude
In Yngil-wode and Barnysdale
Thai oysyd all this tyme thare trawale.


^^^ someday, I will be able to type so gude.

1.utilize
2.user-generated (this usually means there will be porn.)
3. anything -oriented

loath those words.

Do business peeps still use "paradigm"?

i despise them all of them and the way they permiate my life like some kind of stealh ninja bomb. its funny when people talk that way to me sometimes i repeat back to them what they just said in plain english. 'so ok type that letter and tell don before i go home'.

I hate the whole motivational and productivity related buzzwords, they treat you like some kind of worker bee by encouraging you.