Band fights
 

If the following bands got into an actual fight, who do you think would win? And why/how?

The Birthday Party VS. The Jezus Lizard
Pink Floyd VS. The Velvet Underground
Sonic Youth VS. Unwound
The Kills VS. The Raveonettes
The Ramones VS. Television
The Sex Pistols VS. Joy Division
Minor Threat VS. Black Flag

Hmmm?

Jesus Lizard
Floyd
SY
Raveonettes
Ramones
Sex Pistols
Black Flag

*** Boo-Yaa T.r.i.b.e would wipe the floor with the lot of them.

Birthday Party

VU (esp. with nico, she was a ruthless motherfucker.)

SY

The Kills (idk about the dude; seems he'd be too worried about his scarf or something. alison is badass though. the dead weather could take on pretty much anyone - i mean, we know jack white delivers in the black eye dept.)

The Ramones (tuff street punx. t. verlaine could probably outrun them all though if this were happening, say, on the sidewalk in front of cbgb.)

Pistols (close match. JD would need a brooding introspective moment with bass/synth interlude in the middle of the match, and the pistols would just get the fuck down, bareknuckle style. no feeeeeeeeeeeeeelings.)

Black Flag (rollins power sauce)

I think I'd rather discuss Henry Rollins v. everyone.

The Jezus Lizard
The Velvet Underground
The Ramones
The Sex Pistols
Black Flag

Jesus Lizard
Pink Floyd (sorry, Gilmour would just single-handedly eat everyone in TVU)
Unwound
who? don't care.
Ramones
Sex Pistols
Black Flag

Pink Floyd VS. The Velvet Underground- with or without Syd...anywho I choose flyd
Sonic Youth VS. Unwound- SY!!!
The Kills VS. The Raveonettes- good one. I'd have to say the Kills
The Ramones VS. Television- Ramones
The Sex Pistols VS. Joy Division- hahahahj?!?!?! Sex pistols
Minor Threat VS. Black Flag- Black Flag

is that how gilmour got fat?

"omnomnomnom JOHN CALE."

Great thread.

I think Jesus Lizard would kill the Birthday Party, but it'd be extremely close and extremely violent. I think they'd both play fucked up arpeggios at each other for a while but Jesus Lizard's trebly, classically-trained (!?) licks would destroy Birthday Party's ear drums in time for Jesus Lizard to take the advantange.

Velvet Underground and Pink Floyd wouldn't even battle, they'd sit around and get smacked out of their minds.

Unwound would destroy Sonic Youth, since Unwound are younger and tougher. Thurston's a tall guy so naturally he'd be the last to go out. Another violent battles. Crazy-ass Sonic Youth fans would inevitably set Unwound on fire after the battle though. So, really, no one would win.

The Kills and the Ravonettes would just stand there and yell "YOU SUCK!" at each other. And no one would care.

Ramones would tear Television apart. I don't think I need to explain this one.

Okay, with the Sex Pistols, you have one retard smack addict, so this is now basically a 3 piece band. You have a guy from PiL and 2 other guys who didn't really do much else. Okay, so basically, a tough PiL asshole versus ALL of Joy Division? Granted, Ian probably would be too busy shitting himself or trying to kill himself during the fight, but Peter Hook alone would easily destroy everyone in the Sex Pistols with his fucking hands tied behind his back.

Even though I prefer Minor Threat musically, Ian is a fucking pussy. He'd start crying as soon as Black Flag bumped into them. Remember, Ian hates people who slamdance, because that is a fun activity that he did during his early days, but now he doesn't want people to do that and he writes songs, he actually TAKES THE TIME AND EFFORT TO WRITE SONGS CHASTIZING PEOPLE BUMPING INTO PEOPLE AS A FUN ACTIVITY, SOMETHING HE DID WHEN HE WAS A KID. Any era of Black Flag would win this battle, even though Greg Ginn is just some silly burn-out who thinks he knows how to play guitar and would probably just be a liability to the rest of the band. Still, Ian would show up in pink panties, and Henry Rollins (or whoever) would just fucking rape him with his monster fucking dick.

best part of this thread so far.

Hahahahahhaha

Haha! It's funny cause it's true.

The Birthday Party VS. The Jezus Lizard - hands down the roughest live band
Pink Floyd VS. The Velvet Underground - based on more aggressive songs
Sonic Youth VS. Unwound - SY seem more peaceful
The Ramones VS. Television - after a few drinks
Minor Threat VS. Black Flag - Have you seen Rollins' guns? Damn!

GWAR would easily whip all their pathetic, earthling asses.
They'd make Rollins a GWAR slave.

I'd really like to see Gwar kicking the shit out of Rollins.

In fairless, I'd pay money to see anyone kicking the shit out of Rollins. Cunt.