Ultimate sexual fantasies...
 

Do you have one? Two? Three...

what does sexual mean?

fantasies are for lunatics?

and people in prison.

i've heard that people in prison sit on their hands before having a wank. By sitting on them for a period they lose any feeling in their hand so the wank feels like it's coming from someone else. Why they can't just get Big Steve in the top bunk to oblige them, I don't know.

Did you never do this as a teenager? I thought everyone did this.

My ultimate sexual fantasy would probably be a good book and a nice curry. Although I can't see any way to wedge sex into that, not without ruining both. So maybe it's just a fantasy. Actually, I think I'm going to do that tonight. And how many of you can say you lived out your ultimate [non-] sexual fantasy? Eh?

No, I never went to borstal.

that is so fucking disturbing, sitting on your hand.

there is more dignity in fucking dogs.

Too busy doing the old gaw blimey up them apples and pairs, strike a light guvna, was it? [to herr Rail]

I like your logic - sitting on your hand is worse than fucking dogs. You're not, by any chance, foreign?

no, you are.

Sometimes ppl having sex maybe pretend they are having sex with someone else? or wanna have a 3-way or a 5-way or whatever.
I don't think sex fantasies are just for lunatics or people in prision at all. I think alot of ppl have them. Sexual curiosity and all. or whatever.
I know I'm pretty damn naive but I have 'em.

yes, naive.

do you have sex with someone and pretend that its someone else?

...is chocolate really better than sex? or cucumbers?
I have heard women say this, and they're not old fat hags.
And one or two of my guy friends have said they wouldn't turn down an offer of having a 3-way with their gf and her bff.

I pretend it's you.

certainly not cucumbers.

I have zero imagination with sex nowadays. I used to when I was a sex-crazed teenager but, today, nothing. Perhaps it's because I'm in such a spell that any good sex would be fantastic. I can always just gesture to the common fantasies: the librarian, the business woman, the dilettante... perhaps anything where the woman's clothing aren't shit.

for some reason, all of my sexual fantasies seem to revolve around a pearly queen, a bowl of jellied eels, and the queen mum.

books. parks.

I believe a lot of guys think of knox when having a wank.