I bit my Tounge....
 

Now I'm bleeding.

I can't remember the last time I bit my tongue, but it's really painful.

I get a lot of paper cuts though.

Paper cuts suck ass, they are more painful than the tounge bites.

Particularly paper cuts on your tongue.

OwW that sounds like it hurts.

Stabbing yrself in the hand hurts. (never done it in real life, mind you, only last night in a dream).

Why would you get paper cuts on your tongue? I bit my tongue tonight, either got to cut out your tongue or pull out your teeth. One always gets in the way of the other.

supposedly your tongue is the part of your body that bleeds the most and takes the longest to stop bleeding

You're very accident prone aren't you? I suggest wrapping yourself in cotton wool.

I tend to only bite my tongue when I've eating some incredible food which ruins the experience a bit.

I've done it licking an envelope.

Nasty.

I woke up this morning with these weird cuts on my face. It's like the third time its happened too. They sting and I have no idea how the fuck they got there.

Poltergiest as your name suggests.

I'd still probably hit it. In fact even more.

According to Snapple, it is also the fastest healing part of the body.

But yeah, biting your tongue hurts, but ingrown toenails hurt way more. I have one right now and damn, it hurts. Seriously.

i fell off of a computer a few days ago (i was on the phone and distracted). It tipped over and i fell right on to and someother shit... dented the computer and I think internally bruised. WHen i sneeze it hurts my back. Like ow man.