How should we cook Saturnine?
 

yummy fur!

à la flambé

how long before someone makes an obvious and inapropriate joke?

Like what?Rape her?

spit roast!

shove her into the microwave!!!

Burn the witch! Spit roast, indeed! Darth Vader styles!

the trouble with a spit roast would be that there'd have to be another party involved though

this is great. keep it up, porky.

I could help? Or do you mean to be cooked?

let her stew in her own juice, that the kind of thing your after?

I wouldn't interfere in the kitchen but, if her hair is still green, might I suggest the addition of carrots among those curls (if curls exist and don't get removed during the boiling-roasting-whatever I told you I don't wanna get involved)?It would definitely give the meal a very good visual aspect, plus vegetables are often neglected by male cooks, which is a shame.If you're stuck with a spare carrot, please respect my non-involvment in the process of cooking the girl, by not revealing me where you've had the idea of putting it.

we definitely should not cook her. rather put her in a bag and sell to Walmart

Yeah,frozen.

just hang out and say "wussup!"?

i'm not much of a cook, sorry.

or a cannibal.

slice, to get only certain parts of her.

Roast Saturnine

"A new twist on an old holiday favorite. While preparation is best done over a fire-pit, the oven works just as well if you are short on minions to turn and baste or if you happen to reside in the city."

PREP TIME 30 Min
COOK TIME 27 Hrs

INGREDIENTS
1 Saturnine
8 cups butter, sliced
128 ounces sliced bacon
16 pinches salt and pepper to taste
16 tablespoons cajun seasoning
32 cups apple cider
192 cloves garlic, peeled
1 red apple, for garnish

DIRECTIONS
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Rinse the Saturnine, and tie the front legs together with heavy string. Tie the back legs together also. Make numerous slits in the skin, and insert slices of butter, followed by cloves of garlic. Generously rub the entire Saturnine with salt first, then the Cajun seasoning, including inside the cavity. Lay strips of bacon across the back and secure to the sides with toothpicks.

Place the Saturnine in a very large roasting pan and pour in the apple cider. Cover the ears and nose of the Saturnine with aluminum foil to prevent scorching.

Roast for 27 hours in the preheated oven, basting every hour or so with the drippings. If the pan begins to dry out, add more cider or water. To serve, remove to a platter, discard the aluminum foil from ears and nose, and place the apple in the Saturnine's mouth.

Thanks Gary.