Interesting Bible Passages
 

God knows everything, even scat and bukkake

2 Kings 18:27

King James Version (KJV)

27 But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?

more evidence that murdering the sick cunt was a good idea.

One of my favourite texts of recent memory was from a mate around Christmas:

Me: Hope Jesustime wasn't too much of a ballache
Him: Yeah, can't wait till Easter so we can nail the cunt back up.

Exodus, 22:18 "Wizards thou shalt not suffer to live." (DR)

I hope Paul McKenna's reading.

i suddenly feel a pang of regret. poor god. we talk so much shit about him but he doesnt even exist and so cant defend himself. its like shouting down a tunnel.

If you want to convince a non-atheist to be an atheist, ask them to read the bible again.

I like the bit in Deutronomy about how impotent men must have their testicles crushed with large rocks, also the bit in Genesis about the two sisters who get their Dad drunk so he'll fuck them and get them knocked up because no other man is as awesome to them as he is.
Also the bit in Deutronomy that says women who doesn't bleed on her wedding night must be stoned to death on her father's doorstep.
Also the bit in Genesis about the guy who tries to get a horde of bisexual men to rape his daughter so they'll keep away from his son.

oh, those wacky bisexuals!

they pose twice the threat!

ok so i think ive worked this out.

god was a hermaphrodite who became pregnant with himself. because he was pregnant with his own sperm, the dna was the same, so he couldnt give birth to a person cos it cancelled itself out, so rocks and oxygen and water and plants and shit burst forth from his mighty vag, then god was pleased, but then after 6 days of pure leakage, he was sick of it. so he cut off his wang and planted it in the garden of eden, were it grew into the tree that adam and eve ate off??? and adam and eve was god after successfully operating on himself to split into 2 distinct genders from his original hermaphroditic state??? yes ok thanks.