[Alex's Trip]

I work for the cops. A late night escort service. I like to think of myself as a hot cop, but I just walk people home late at night to prevent them from getting mugged. But since I am an untrained college ne'er-do-well, I can't carry any weapons other than pepper spray and a knife (actually, I'm not not allowed the knife at all). We are non-confrontational. Probably too much liability. I was walking down Telegraph with a small Indian girl (who was totally rude and didn't say a single word to me during the entire walk; she just yakked on her phone) near a part of street that is particularly infested with the homeless. We had just cleared that block when a crazy lookin' most likely meth addled bum pulls out around the corner and demands our money. Fortunately I had planned for this kind of shit w/o having to use my spray or blade. I pulled out a dummy wallet and threw it diagonally across the intersection. He ran for it. We ran to our destination. I radio-ed the fucker in and the cops actually got him.

I feel incredibly conflicted about working for the cops, but whatever. I helped put one asshole out of his line of work. And besides, I'd never bust anyone for drugs or drinking or simple college kid stuff.