Boy, did they fuck this one up. It's a lot like the original, except with less than 10% of the first film's charm. Robert Englund's absence from this picture is the least of it's multiple problems. Not one character is anywhere near as likable as their counterpart in the original film (to be fair, the new Nancy wasn't
that bad), Freddy's new backstory was unnecessary, and having a recently killed character's girlfriend fall asleep and have a nightmare AT HIS FUNERAL is unforgivably sloppy writing. Any classic moment from the original that they attempted to recreate through CGI turned out shoddily, and hardly 25% as effective. This film left a bad taste in my mouth, and I think I may have even hated it more than Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare.
While not as dreadful as 2010's NOES, or Rob Zombie's potty-mouthed attempt at recreating the Halloween series, 2009's Friday the 13th suffers from one fatal flaw:
they fucked up Jason. Instead of being a near-invincible mongoloid who's only thought is, "KILL, KILL, KILL...", now Jason Voorhees is a skilled woodsman who not only
runs around Crystal Lake killing teenagers, but he even
sets traps, and
shoots arrows too!
There was enough fuss over the zombies running in the Dawn of the Dead remake, but can you imagine if they laid down bear traps, and shot guns as well? It really makes you wonder if the filmmakers even began to understand what set Jason Voorhees apart from other slasher villains. NOTE TO MICHAEL BAY: IT'S MORE THAN JUST A HOCKEY MASK.
I did appreciate the early tribute to the potato sack mask in F13: Part II though, and some of the stoner jokes made me smirk, but the black guy was beyond annoying. Is there anything more token black guy than having your black character constantly bitch about how he's not the token black guy?
It's a real shame that they couldn't get any of the major slasher remakes right.