You guys have described aspects that are both laid back and uptight. You will be seen as either depending on who is seeing you, based on their receptivity of those kinds of traits...
I doubt anyone wants to be "seen as" uptight. Most want to be included in things. I'm quite sensitive and have found myself behaving or projecting myself in ways to protect that sensivity, such as so they dont test it, etc. Mostly I figure I am "seen as" mostly laid back but prone to anxiety and anger at most inopportune moments, to anyone who would bother observing my patterns. Sounds like a pretty normal person.
Dont worry about being inconsistent in personality. Despite consistency being the one thing people wish about others, we seem to be the least so. If anything, just take note of those moments when you are most uncomfortable about how you are behaving and examine them honestly, asking questions, why it made you uncomfortable, what youre willing to accept about it, how much of it is in how important it is to you to be judged on it, etc etc. Oftentimes that friction we feel when interacting with others is just internal stuff that has NOTHING to do with the other person popping up and demanding attention. It depends on you how to react to it, which is possible if you can slow it all down...
Or, just stop giving a fuck entirely for a day and see how it goes
