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Originally Posted by louder
Honestly, I haven't been in the mood for music in the last few days so I'm not really in the right place where I can judge a new album with a clear mind.
My girlfriend had a psychotic episode in front of my own eyes, and I found out she's been struggling with mental illness for years, I ultimately decided to break up with her although she's a sweetheart because it's too much for me to deal with and now I'm really sad and hurting.
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I'm really sorry to hear that, my friend.
I don't want to wax psychoanalytical on you (I would have been an awful psychologist if I'd finished grad school, even a non-clinical one, because I'm positively loaded up with issues of my own... just fucking TONS of them), but in a situation like that, especially when you're younger, it really is best to form boundaries because you would have been in no place to care for someone suffering from an episodic psychosis. No offense.
If you'd been dating for years and built a real life together, I would advise against breaking it off hastily, but it doesn't sound like that was the case, so you shouldn't beat yourself up or feel bad about ending things. I hope and trust that you did it in a gentle and compassionate way, and did your best to make sure she u deratood that you cared (even if she wasn't able to really hear or believe that at the time).
I had a girlfriend when I was in grad school with a severe case of body dismorphia. She was an objectively "stacked" girl. Trim and athletic with (pardon me) bangin' tots and a lovely bum. But she would stand naked in front of the mirror and tell me to "admit" that she was gaining weight, already fat, "disgusting," etc. She once said she just wanted to be "tits, ribs and a pelvic bone" (no joke) and it was sad as hell because she had a very good heart and was loyal and sweet and understanding of my own issues.
Of course I thought, "hey, I can help her, I'm gonna be a doctor some day! This is my wheelhouse!" ... I even spent a semester focusing on DSM disorders and treatments specifically, when my actual program was in cognitive neuropsych. But ultimately, I did more harm than good by trying to intervene. When I finally got the guts to end it I was already emotionally cheating on her with someone else, and the whole thing was selfish as hell.
My point is, I guess, that unless you're really committed to someone in a way that I was not capable of being when I was 25, it's better not to pretend that you're ready to take responsibility for someone's well-being. You did the right and sane thing, even if it doesn't feel like it now.
Still, I'm sorry and I wish the best for you and your friend.