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I have run a computer simulation of the Diesel / Crypto / party scenario mentioned above, and the result was:
A heavenly choir of angels came from on high and played a game of ping-pong with Tiger Woods. One of the ping-pong balls flew wildly astray and hit Vladimir Putin on the back of the head, causing him to stand down as leader of the Russian empire. Rupert the Bear took over the leadership, and handed out a tuna and cucumber sandwich each to all the leaders of the world's other nations. This engendered such a feeling of love throughout the world that a huge disco was scheduled for the following Tuesday, with every church leader of every church invited. All the church leaders attended the disco and they agreed over glasses of fizzy lemonade that it would be really nice if we could all be friends, and they had a big hug. Suddenly all was at peace at the world, and love was all around.
That was when the aliens invaded...
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