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Look Around You: Computers

 

 

 

When most of us think of Bournemouth we think of the quaint seaside town, famous for tourism and battery acid manufacturing.
Pictured right (inset) is another Bournemouth. This one is the most powerful computer ever built in Britain. Above is Bournemouth's chief programmer, Computer Jones.
Bournemouth is so powerful he perceives ordinary people to be morons. He is able to solve thousands of complex theoretical problems in the time it would take us to eat a slice of Antmas Eve pie.
By the year 1990 there could be as many as 10,000 computers in britain.
Experts like Computer Jones will eventually become irrelevant as, by then, computers will be able to program themselves, clean their own laser ribbons and will even be able to help us organise trade union ballots.
More from Computers

 

PLAY DIARRHEA DAN: You can now play this popular toilet-based computer game. Diarrhea Dan must race against the clock to get into every cubicle and win vital loo paper by answering the toilet-related questions.