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8:30 AM: Wake up dreading another boring day at work, only to find myself invisible, don't bother to get dressed (unless of course it's cold out, like it usually is around here)
10:00 AM: Sneak onto the trolley and go into town. Catch a bus (woohoo, no fare or transfer needed!) to my band's singer's house but of course take the time to feel up whatever hot college chicks happen to get on.
10:30 AM: Find a way into the singer's house and watch his slutty-yet-hot roomates undress. Go downstairs to our old practice space and mess around with his guitar's tuning and amp settings (not so bad he can't fix them of course). Duck out back door and into alley behind house.
11:00 AM: Stroll toward bus stop back to my area. Along the way, encounter some mean dudes messing with some chick. Laugh as they wet themselves in fear over the disembodied voice telling them to fuck off, then enjoy their sudden dumbfoundment at the free-floating lead pipe that bashes their brains in. Sneak onto bus going back to my neighborhood.
12:30 PM: Lunchtime! Stop over at the grocery store to pick up a chicken sandwich and a Coke. Afterwards, piss on some Hummer H2 someone parked in a handicap spot.
1:30 PM: Stroll into where I work and throw something at the annoying new guy. Notice someone trying to cram a toner box into the recycling slot, then read/scream (directly into their ear) the sign that says "please remove all packaging before you recycle". Cause my boss to spill coffee on herself. Find a phone in a secluded place and announce over the intercom (using a disguised voice) that the regional sales manager picks his teeth with a comb after using it on his combover, and the furniture sales guy doesn't wash his hands after using the men's room.
2:00 PM: Get bored with all the havoc and decide to go home for the rest of the day.
The next day: Hear about the "invisible force in Pittsburgh" from various people, seem vaguely interested, then chuckle to myself when I'm alone.
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