[schizophrenicroom]

HUSKERS ON A PLANE

Sonic Youth, Husker Du, and J/Patti are at an airport

Kim: When's our plane coming?
J/Patti: When I make Gloria mine!
Lee: When I see Karen again.
Thurston: My mind is a gelatinous ball of pepper.

Steve comes in view. He prances around in a leotard that makes him look like the pink panther.

Steve: lol lol lol lol buttsex
Husker Du (SIMULTANEOUSLY): We were thinking that! As soon as Chuck Norris boards our plane, we guess. YEAH! *JAMS KICK OUT*

random tourists with fanny packs and joints yell for patti to start some poetic rantings

Patti: POEMS POEMS POEMS THE AIR IS A GENTLE BREEZE
Audience: Whooo!
Patti: Whooing is for sellouts of the mindwarped generation that never embraced the intensity of rock and roll blending into poetry and the sweet jams invigorating their senses blahfhfahfahfahvsegnseibuttsex

THE GAME pops out of nowhere on the plane.

THE GAME: What up hoez
Thurston: Contemplating the current state of rock and roll.
THE GAME: Shit yeah.

A guy with a fanny pack and joint gets up. he reaches into the game's back pocket and pulls out bat. IT TURNS OUT IT'S TONY DANZA!! he also pisses his pants because his agent calls him and tells him his show sucks.

TONY DANZA: I can't take this. I'm gonna bite this bat's head off!
Grant Hart: We got a bat head-biter on a plane? HEY, it's Tony Danza!




Joan Rivers pops out of Steve's carryon bag, a Louis Vuitton purse.

Joan: OMG! TONY DANZA! I'm reporting live! Tony Danza simultaneously pissed his pants and chewed the head off of a live bat. Who are you wearing, dahling?
TONY DANZA!: SS Beat Control shirt, Brokeback Apparel jeans.
Joan: Pina coladas, internet sexin', or getting caught in the rain?
TONY DANZA!: I enjoy the alcohol.
Kim: I can't take this! STFU, Joan. I'll slam your head down a toilet and get my posse to go after you. You'll be getting loose with the Pussy Galore- while they shove your head down the toilet after me! My husband Thurston Moore will crack jokes afterwards while I flush your head down the toilet again!
Joan: Well, shit.

Patti is not amused. Thurston is. Husker Du are.

the game: What next, cracka hoez?
Steve and Lee: JAMZ!