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i've done the saran-wrap on the toilet, and it works wonders, my dad was pissed off (& on) and i got to clean the mess.
i do this kind of shit a lot, my favorite one i heard about kurt cobain doing, which is to lick your finger, and write "gay sex rules" on your opponents' dirty auto. on a passenger door, of course so it lasts longer.
the one i won't go to hell for:
i work at a store where we sell porno amongst other things, and the way the porno companies solicit the porno is that they would send out the actual cover of the dvd, you know, with no case or movie, just the cover, and the adult-buyer had a stack of man-on-man covers in a file cabnet next to his desk. he claims he's straight, but whatever. so another one of the employees is like a total metallica-football-monster-trucks-linkin park type of guys, real fucken opinionated about his shit taste in music and and equally loud and a real overall pain in the ass to work with, except that he's brought me much joy in my professional life, and anyway, let's call him rodbert, so rodbert and his seven brothers and their dad are opening this bar in town and he's gonna quit and i decide let's send ol' boy & his kinfolk some good old fashioned gay porn in the mail for "shits-n-giggles." i stole a big envelope & filled it full, double stamped it, and wrote the adress of their bar on it, attention rodbert. i picked a random name out of the phone book for a return adress, and dropped it in the mailbox.
so a coupla days later, i'm sittin at my desk, another morning stoner, and in comes rodbert with a fury about him i hadn't seen before. he looks at me and holds up the envelope, and sez "do you know who fuckin' sent this to me?" and i kept a straight face and just said "no" and turned back to face the wall. it was like fartin' in church, so quiet, but all i wanted to do was lose my laugh... so he's goin' all around, and we're like, hey rodbert, what's in it? and he's bein' a low talker and then he yells out "my dad was so pissed to open this and i got in trouble!" at that point, it was over for me, tears, gut holding, floor time, the works. rodbert hit me on the arm & acted like there was gonn be more, but stopped for some reason. it was all worth it, on so many levels.
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