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Too often I think about suicide, but as sonicl said earlier, i think it is more that i really want to cease to exist and disappear more than actually take measures . when im in a bad way , i feel like im too weak to do anything positive for myself or even go through with suicide itself .
usually when my thoughts float over ceasing to exist , it comes to me that it is not more core that wants me dead, it is the endless influences and negative perspectives that want me to . so i try to cut those out and find that value in what is truly best for me...to survive and survive well . treating myself better and working harder would benefit me and in turn , everyone around me , and everythign i reach out to (going from being good to family, friends, my environment, the world..) .
but then it just comes down to that i just dont have the energy to .
everything comes down to how much you Really, Really Want to .
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